My 9 year old son (4th grade) is highly gifted but having a number of issues. I'd appreciate any advice.

He is in the public elementary school's gifted program for math and language arts. Honestly, the math is not challenging him at all. The language arts teacher is a homework maven however, and tends to really pile it on. He's not challenged by the subject, but he is challenged by the volume of work in that class.

His biggest issue, though, is his temper and his inability to control his emotions and behave appropriately. This happens at home, at school, and elsewhere.

Once he is upset, he appears to lose the ability to think rationally and stick to the truth. And he can transition from happy to meltdown very quickly based on the oddest triggers. We know some of his triggers, but we're often surprised by the things that set him off. Once he's melted down, his emotional age is that of a 4-5 year old, and he will often refuse to communicate using words. Instead he will "communicate" through abrupt body movement, grunts, stomping, growls, and mean faces.

Usually, the best thing to do when this happens to not to try to reason with him and instead remove him from the stressor for some time. He often bounces back quickly.

Largely as a result, he doesn't have any friends this year. He says that he doesn't care about friends but I don't believe that is his genuine feeling, as he also has indicated that he'd like more friends. He claims that most other kids are boring and that he doesn't like them.

Unfortunately, between his tantrums and his intelligence, he is very hard to get along with. He can some across as arrogant and self-centered, without necessarily trying to.

My wife and I have tried speaking with him at length about his reactions. Any improvements have been temporary and fleeting.

We are also reading book on gifted kids, over-excitability, and possible medical issues. While these books are helpful with diagnosis, they tend to be short on treatment recommendations.

We are also looking into therapy and possibly home schooling, but we're not sure that the latter will be the right environment either.

This kid has got us at wits end. Most of the time, he's a sweet, happy, friendly, little guy, very affectionate, witty and bright. But he can very quickly turn into a monster.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.