Does your DS9 have things that he does that contribute to running the house? Maybe increase the responsibility a little, even something he doesn't think he can do, and have him work on it and celebrate the success. Even things I give my DD9 like opening the envelopes for the mail and sorting the paper recycling, putting bills in a pile. Not to make her worried but to de-mystify the goings-on. And she learns the categories of things we need to live, like the natural gas and the phone, etc.
For her personality this makes her less anxious - some kids it might make them more if they're going to worry.
Yeess... this helping and this making him more anxious both seem like real possibilities :-) He doesn't have much in the way of regular chores compared to American norms; he really doesn't have time (he's out at school more than 12 hours every weekday, and he plays two instruments). But he can do most of the day to day household tasks I do (bar cooking; he can only cook a few things so far), in fact.
I think I should make a time to talk to him about it when we're not rushing for something, actually. Maybe there are specific things he can't do that aren't as hard as he thinks.
Come to think of it, we let him choose an organiser box (plastic box containing a dozen translucent plastic envelopes, for filing random bits of paper) in response to finding that he had several bits of paper he needed to keep, but no clear right place for them, and this
delighted him. This may be a clue. It would make sense for him to be stressed about general organisation, because none of us in this family are naturals at it and the adults find it stressful too! (And have been through all the "having a nice organiser box doesn't automatically make you organised" learning, too, but hey.)
Ellipses, though: DH and I both used to be scared of driving. Then we each learned to drive, and became terrified of it (and don't do it - fortunately there's good public transport where we are)! It's the impossibility of ever completely ruling out killing someone in that tonne of metal. The apple does not, I see, fall far from the tree.
