DD7 showed the ability to focus on an entire 20-minute episode of a pre-school oriented show on Nick Jr. as an infant. So, we indulged her. She's very visual-spatial, so it turned out to be an excellent educational tool for her.
We've never really limited it, because she has an ability to self-regulate to the point where we rarely feel like she's abusing it. Yesterday, for instance, she watched for about an hour and a half. She had plenty of other activities going on.
She gets to select her own shows, and she records them on the DVR. We have yet to have a problem with her selecting something inappropriate. We used to have a family camp-out night in the living room every weekend, where I'd throw our mattresses on the floor and we'd watch movies and eat junk food. DW and I would alternate choices with DD every other week, so we'd introduce her to things she ordinarily wouldn't seek, to broaden her horizons. This is how, for instance, she became obsessed with Harry Potter. She wanted nothing to do with the idea at first.
TV watching in our household is not something done in isolation, staring vapidly at the screen. It's a family activity, it's interactive, interrogative, and analytical. We've used it as a launchpad into social topics like the outrageous message about thinness and its consequences, misleading claims in advertising, etc. Meanwhile, we all agree that Spencer is the funniest character on iCarly, and that the actors playing Kat and Jade are much more vocally talented than the star of Victorious. We also agree that the overall acting throughout the cast of Good Luck Charlie is really good for a show of that nature, but DD respectfully disagrees with her parents' position that the acting is really, really poor on Shake It Up.
All her peers are watching these same shows and movies, so it gives them something to bond over, in much the same way that nearly any random gathering of adult males can instantly find common ground by talking about sports. It's a handy social tool.
So yeah... count us in the "TV is not evil" camp.
