Four-year-olds are maddening.
It is hard to force relationships in a large classroom. You can't make a kid want to play with another. That is something I think all kids deal with, especially kids who aren't as socially savvy as most. I would question if a montessori school is the best environment for a child with social sensitivities who just wants to play with others. I know you are thinking long term, but I also think it is wise to take it year by year.
Not every child responds well to an immersion type setting (kids with auditory processing disorders, visual/spacial, sequential learners--me! I have learned 4 languages fluently, two professionally, one from immersion, and learning through immersion drove me crazy.)
I also think you have to look beyond academic fit. Why do we want academic fit? We want our kids to be challenged. We don't want them to be bored. We want them to be happy! --We want them to be happy.-- If my DD is happy in school that is not an academic fit right now is that harmful? I don't know. If she is unhappy at a school that is the most academic, well, what's the point?
I guess, just to reiterate, I'd worry that she is psychologically drained. And, that is causing her to have trouble coping with her perfectionism. She is the youngest in her class. She wants to interact with others in a class where it is not necessarily encouraged all the time. And, she is operating in a second language.
If she is less stressed with younger children how do you figure she prefers relationships with older children? I'm just curious.
