I will look into the book, but it seems like something we have tried before. In yesterday's case, the laundry was actually mine and all he had to do was pick it up, carry it to the washer and dump it in (because of my knee surgery a month ago, I can't do the bending and carrying part) so it was just brawn, not anything he had to think about. I was just asking him to help me out.
We've already got him on tight restrictions as far as electronics and stuff. Consequences seem to do no good. The phobia thing is a good angle to think about as well.
My husband is a lot like CCN's - he tends to give out unenforceable consequences. I'm more realistic and consistent. I know part of the problem is that if I give a consequence, my husband doesn't always remember it and enforce it. Sometimes, he does remember and lets son do whatever it is anyway, claiming "I'm too tired to enforce it".
MON, you're right, he's basically a good kid and I forget that. I also tend to forget that he's 11, not 15. Although, some days he is 3!
Thanks for all the ideas. Sometimes it just gets me very down and I wonder what I've done wrong or what's wrong with him.
