My entire family has a LOT of spectrum traits.
But we are (none of us) even remotely on the spectrum, in spite of that.
So while reading that blog post, I kept thinking to myself-- yes, but the part that makes you an Aspie is that you think this is UNIQUE to you because you are an Aspie. It's not unique and only maybe is it because you're Aspie...
More probably, you just don't recognize those feelings in others, or recognize the way in which socially normative people express those same feelings of sadness/isolation/awkwardness/alienation.
I'm a gifted introvert. I could quite happily live without other people and not be particularly 'lonely' in the least. I also have a host of sensory issues. But the difference is that I am just about the furthest thing from socially blind. I may not agree with the emotional responses that I see from others-- but I seldom find them surprising or unexpected, though they are completely irrational (as emotional reactions so often are).
CCN, I recall vividly feeling awkward and painfully excluded from social interactions as a child, too. I think, though-- and thought even then (correctly, I'm pretty sure) that this was largely the result of asynchrony. I presumed that it would disappear in adulthood. It has. In retrospect, much of being not socially adroit is a function of childhood, and GT children often have age-inappropriate opportunities to put our feet in our mouths in much more spectacular/obvious fashion than our NT peers. KWIM?
Asynchrony can produce almost the exact same constellation of experiences, in other words. When coupled with being introverted and highly sensitive (from a literal standpoint), this can look a lot like being an Aspie.
Much of what the author describes strikes me not as "Aspie" but as what anyone who isn't fairly NT experiences in daily life. Feeling inauthentic in order to fit in.... check. Imposter syndrome.... check. Feeling distressed by dissonance... check. Hiding from one's self (and everyone else, too) in an effort to fit in... check, again.
All pretty normative for non-NT women, in my experience. Men seem to be more comfortable being who they actually are once they leave adolescence. For women, somehow those social pressures seem to last into middle age. Most of my female friends are only now (in their 40's and 50's) finding out that nothing dreadful happens if they drop all that pretense.
