DS8 has always been a very anxious kid. But after the past two years (which have been pretty miserable at school) he is bordering on panic over school starting again this year. What if I have those mean kids in my class again? What if my teacher doesn't like me? What if I don't know anyone in my class? What if I can't do the work? I have already spoken to his teacher, making it clear that I expect this year to be different, and tried to reassure him that they start levelling the classes this year, so the "mean" kids (none of whom did well in school) would likely not be in his class.
We do it the other way with anxiety. Rather than telling him his fears won't come true, what if you follow them to the conclusion?
OK, what if there IS a mean kid in your class, what do you think will happen? And then? And then what will you do? Uh huh... and then? ... until he works out how whatever he's anxious about would be resolved.
OK, what if the work IS hard, and you can't do it all right away, and you make mistakes? What would happen then? And next? What would the teacher see? What would you try? and so on.
Eventually you can work your way around in these conversations to realistic possible solutions of these problems, generated by the child. There's not much point IMO in saying there will be no problems, because a smart kid knows that is not true; but there is a point in reminding the child that they know how to cope with whatever is coming.
DeeDee
