I see both sides of this. I'm concerned about the tendency to see natural human varaiation as problematic/ a disorder. I want to exmiane the tendency to blame the child rather than the environment.
Naming something as a disability isn't the same as blaming the child--to the contrary, it can be such a relief for a person to know why they are a certain way, it's how they're made, and not their fault. Naming it as a disability basically says, "oh, this bit seems to be hard for you because of X. You may need some extra help there." But yes, some people fit more easily into their environs than do others.
I agree with you, Ultra, that human variation needs to be accepted with generosity and tolerance-- but if we accept the full range of it as "normal," including the very troubling parts, then, for example, my kid's desperately needed services wouldn't have been covered by insurance at all, which would be a problem. The labeling of disabilities is a practical as well as an existential matter.
DeeDee
