To answer your questions re gifted testing and accommodations, it depends on the test and the accommodation. I don't know about the Ravens (I just don't know anything about that test, no experience). I wouldn't think they would give an extended time accommodation, for example, on an ability test such as the WISC because that's the whole point of the timed sections - to assess how well a person does at that particular ability. My ds *did* however get an accommodation on his school district CogAT testing for the gifted program - in his case, the accommodation he was given was verbal answers instead of writing them, and the tester read the questions to him, plus he had individual testing, not with a group. He was able to get accommodations for the gifted testing because he had an IEP that included those accommodations for regular classroom testing.
How is your ds in terms of where his head is at emotionally? I think the first few years of elementary school can be very tough for the parents of 2e kiddos because we've often spent those early years of our kids lives just enjoying their bright minds, seeing how creative and smart they are and never dreaming they'd have any challenges once they started school. When we find out about the challenges, first we have that to adjust our big picture to fit and that can seem kind of "must do now" at first, but the reality is we adjust, move on, find new challenges, adjust again, etc. It's going to be a long journey.
You asked "how do you know when it's time to jump ship?" I don't look at it that way - I see it more as what all parents do (with or without 2e kids) - we look forward and sometimes have to make the decision to move based on meeting our kids' needs. I get the sense from what you've written that you have two things going on - one, which is possibly at the forefront of your mind is, how do I get my kid to qualify and if he doesn't, yikes, what to do - and second, but I think more important at this point - what is the impact of the challenges he has. Sometimes with 2e kids in early elementary we have to spend more time focusing on those challenges rather than seeing the gifted side of our kids blossom, but there is a payoff for that later on because we're building the foundation that will let them fly as they get older. The GT magnet school *might* be a great place for your ds, but it might not. So you'll want to do your research eventually if your ds qualifies for it. We chose not to send our ds to our district's GT magnet because it was a very strict environment and highly focused on achievement (yet ironically, our ds probably was just as far ahead at the end of elementary having *not* gone there as most of the kids who attended it were). The teachers gave a ton of homework, and there were a lot of parents who were all about how high their kids' IQ is. When we thought about the concept of sending our EG kid there, it sounded like the right idea, extremely smart kid goes to school for extremely smart kids. But it really wasn't the right fit for our ds.
The tough part, of course, which you've asked - is how do you know what *is* the right choice to make. I think with 2e kids, it can seem like we may have to sacrifice academics that build on their strengths sometimes in early elementary while focusing on the area of challenge, as much as we don't want to. If you find that happening, please know that it's not going to be that way forever. What you're doing in elementary when you focus on those areas of challenge is to build the foundation that will later allow your child to soar.
Do you feel like you have a good understanding of your ds' challenges? You've been concerned about reading and you have had a dyslexia screening, and you know he is not dyslexic. Do you feel like you know what you need to know about his reading challenges? You've also got an early set of testing showing he has a slow processing speed relative to IQ and you mention handwriting speed etc. Do you have an official diagnosis of anything? Do you feel you need one? Do you feel you have the paperwork etc you need to advocate?
If not, I'd start there - do what you need to do to fully understand your ds' challenge, and then be sure you have as much documentation as you need to advocate for your ds. Then meet with the school to formalize accommodations through a 504. Also be sure your ds is getting any extra help he needs, for whatever reason - for example (this has nothing to do with your ds, just an example!) - does he need OT for fine motor? If so, can you get it through school? If not, can you get it privately?
Once that is all in place, then start thinking about academics and what one school offers over another.
Re having a BF move and not finding another - fwiw, our ds had one BF throughout elementary and by the time he was in 2nd grade he was starting to notice that the other kids seemed to all be branching out and finding more friends, and he wasn't. He started wondering if something was different about him (re making friends). I think it's easy (and makes sense) when you have a HG kiddo to think, hmmm.... he's not with his peers, so he would be happier if he was with older kids or he would be happier if he was in a school with intellectual peers etc. BUT... it might be something simpler or more closer-to-home than that. For our ds, it was related to how he felt about himself from being in school and not being able to keep up with writing. *If* your ds is in school all day struggling with one of the basic early elementary skill sets (and I don't know that he is so this may totally not apply!) - but if he is, it might be impacting his self-esteem in a way that in turn impacts his ability to feel like he fits in with the other kids in his grade. That's a big part of the reason I feel that in early elementary it's really important to focus on understanding the challenges our kids face and do what we can to help there - because even if you find another school such as the GT magnet that solves the issue of appropriately challenging intellectual material, without understanding and accommodating for the challenge, your child is still going to be in the same place re self-esteem and social issues etc. Not that that's an issue at all for your ds, it might not be.. just tossing it out there in case any of it sounds like it might be.
Best wishes,
polarbear
