The problem being that having the value that you want your child to be the best isn't really a good value to have.
It tends away from pro-social behavior.
I generally agree, but I think that with a slight modification, it can be quite productive. Our emphasis is not on "Be the best". Instead we emphasize "Be the best you can be", and do not worry about how they compare with others.
We were surprised that DD13 started becoming competitive on her own. Her friends in elementary school ended up being some of the strongest in Jr. High, and she wants to keep up with them. While she competes with them on one level, they all help each other study and work on projects together. And since our town emphasizes academics, the brainy group is the popular group, so there is no need to go underground.
DS10 is also popular (both DD and DS won student council rep elections), but is intensely competitive on his own. He is used to getting first place in academics and in chess, and gets overly upset when he does not. For him, we have to tell him that the effort is what is important, not the results.
