I saw this quote on this sub-board with a title of "Extreme issues with 'fairness' and perfectionism," and thought it reminded me of, well, me:
I'm curious, does anyone's child have major problems relating to the child's perceived idea of fairness/rules and perfectionism? My son has been having a lot of trouble with throwing tantrums/having fits at school, and in nearly every single case the root cause is something was, in his eyes, unfair - someone cut in line, someone touched his stuff, etc - or perfectionism/fear of failure - he's not going to finish his work or start on time, thus he's going to get a zero and fail second grade!
This sounds somewhat like my internal emotional world. Some of it, for me, is standard issue moral anger (improper violation of the ideal absolutist moral order):
"Joan's always fighting for a cause. Whatever it is, she's certain she's on the side of justice. She gets furious with people who disagree with her. She feels she has a right to be angry when someone has broken a rule. She feels outraged and wants to punish.
She suffers from black-and-white thinking, and refuses to understand people who are different from her. She has rigid ways of thinking when compromise and understanding would work better."
Random anger link:
http://www.invisiblecows.com/Download27.htmlOf course, as an adult, I generally don't throw tantrums, being that they are frowned upon by polite society. I merely choke down the anger until it goes away.
It also depends on how much sleep I am getting. More sleep seems to equal less emotional storm.
I also talk myself out of vigalantism as an avocation. Yeah, it would be fun and I would feel really, really good about it, but I don't think the result would be pretty.
I get into a lot of arguments with my family, who are every bit the three R's that I can't stand: rigid, right-wing, and Republican. Rich, surprisingly, isn't anywhere in the equation. Religious, however, is.
So with the elections coming up, I get into a lot of battles with them about things on the news, things that Romney (another "R") or Newt (the snake-in-the-grass) say about poor people or minority races or women's rights, gay rights, etc. I tend to be more liberal and far-left in my thinking, which sets me apart from basically everyone else in my family (all of them Catholic and none of them willing to budge). I voted for President Obama and will likely vote for him again. I believe in full equality for LGBT individuals; I'm pro-abortion, in favor of curbing "free enterprise," (i.e. out-of-control capitalism), and "saints preserve us," an atheist since about age 13 (lucky number), when the Catholic Church abuse scandal entered the press. All of this, no surprise, MUCH to my family's chagrin.
My aunt, who is very much a fan of Fox News,
describes me in terms of a similar scenario as was quoted in the article above, only this time referring to Barbra Streisand's idealistic character in the movie
The Way We Were. I don't necessarily throw fits/tantrums in public, but when I see a perceived injustice or am exposed to this kind of bigotry (everything I said above, they're opposed to, on religious grounds of course), I get infuriated and start to go on for quite awhile, almost filibuster-like, because their "unfairness" is something I can't accept.
I'm aware that this isn't the kind of thing you do in public -- the old, "never discuss religion or politics" -- so I don't, but it still unnerves me to no end that my own relatives could be so Archie Bunker-esque.
Without starting any political discussions per se here, please help me figure out what's going on: am I justified in the (decibel) level and intensity of my anger, or am I really just a "radical commie shrew" who needs to learn to keep her mouth shut? Because I don't feel I can; when I have an opinion, especially about social issues that I feel passionate about, I really feel the need to express it -- and then some! -- and it's causing the people around me to recommend that I get into intensive therapy for being so argumentative. But I can't just stew inwardly, and I don't have anyone else in-person who shares my beliefs. The most I have is lurking on Democratic Underground or Huffington Post or watching Jon Stewart on YouTube. With regards to metaphorically "cutting in line" (referring to the post above) I get very vocal and angry about people who are at the head of "the line" without justification. I care a lot about injustices but now I'm wondering if I'm just, as I said above, a radical, insane commie shrew. (My father's words.) I also read that GT/2E folks often tend to have a more liberal-minded way of thinking, which of course would cause someone on the opposite side to think they're stupid or crazy.
