Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Plays by her own rules

I have a slightly different take. DS hard a hard time in Pre-k, the other kids didn't know what he was talking about and he preferred talking to the adults or reading. He also would try to get kids to play his games, he said that the other kids ideas to play were boring - and they were for him. Initially I took the teacher's perspective very seriously that he needed to learn to socialize better and that he needed to adapt. Until i realized this was actually about changing him to make him fit in better. Then I stopped thinking the teacher knew what she was talking about. She had no experience with his intellectual growth and capacity and he didnt even show it all. So from her persective he needed social tutoring. Yet all the problems she noticed disappeared when he played with older kids. Wth his age mates, DS eventually started making up his own games within the other kids games - they would be playing tag - he was capturing evil villains and bringing them to jail on another planet. I think learning how to get along, and play cooperatively is a good thing, but not recognizing that increased knowledge and ability makes play different is not fair to the kid.

I realized the difference when he went to camp where the counselors, also Pre-k teachers, and those teachers helped him to invite the kids into his world and his ideas. The teachers could help her negotiate with her age mates, but she might also simply need more than they can give. There are so many stories here of girls especially turning off their skills or even regressing to fit in - if they don't do that, they likely come off as bossy.

DeHe