This is how I feel, too! I suspect DD is a little addicted to the praise she gets at school for being a "leader" (they push this) and a good student. They get prizes and so on. Meh.
DD6 had an emotional night last night over the end of what had been a very rocky 4-year friendship. She begged off attending school this morning because she wasn't going to be able to sleep, because she was going to have too many bad thoughts, and not sleeping was going to make it too tough to be good in school all day. I said, "Being good in school is very important to you, isn't it?", and she agreed, and detailed her reasons for it, which touched on some external rewards but culminated in "being one of the best students."
I'm not sure when being "the best student" changed from being the smartest to being the most compliant. I'm halfway tempted to start encouraging her rebellious side. <sigh>
Anyway, in her case, I'd say the external rewards (prizes, etc.) aren't as important to her as the internal ones (praise, self-esteem, etc.).
FWIW, she didn't go to school this morning. We did a weekday version of family camp out in the living room and watched Beezus and Ramona (NOT Ramona and Beezus!) instead of bedtime. Today she'll go Christmas shopping for her cousins.
