How much time does the teacher feel the homework should take? If the teacher is thinking it should take 30 minutes, and it's taking an hour - maybe the homework is frustrating for her. If the teacher is saying "spend 30 minutes reading, spend 15 minutes doing math facts, spend 15 minutes writing in a journal" etc - then, jmo, the teacher is asking for too much work at night after a long day at school for a 7 year old - gifted or not. If that's the case, and it was my dd, I'd scale back on some of her times (for example, do math facts for 5 minutes, read for 20, write 10 minutes) and call it good.

My 7 year old 2nd grader is also a model student at school and falls apart at home - not so much over her homework but just in all-around imploding, throwing tantrums that would make any 2-year old proud, not wanting to do what anyone tells her to do etc. In her case, I feel it's a combo of being tired and other stress. Re being tired, even though she's 7, the school day is still a long day for her, and she's at an academically challenging school where she gets grades, has tests, is working ahead of grade level compared to the neighborhood schools here, and the teachers have high expectations of the students' academics. On the one hand, this is a good fit for her, because her personality is all about being an over-achiever, has to be the kid who gets everything right and wants to be working ahead etc. On the other hand, she's only 7 and she can hold it together and work full-steam during the day, but she also needs downtime after school to unwind and relax and have fun.

The other thing that's going on with my dd is she had some trauma early on in her life that resulted in PTSD. Sooo... when stress builds up at school it compounds with the other and she really gets stressed out. Because she's so into being a high achiever at school, she totally holds it together there because she doesn't want anyone there to see her stress. At home she has no filters - she's a-ok with melting down in front of her parents where she's totally comfortable!

Best wishes,

polarbear