My DS is a "happy bouncy social" 12 year old. He has been in public school all along without full grade accelerations. He has been very happy there and has lots of friends.
The schools (elementary and now middle) are nothing special on paper. But each teacher has done whatever she can to keep DS engaged. Accomadating reading is pretty easy as long as they allow kids to read above level books. Some people have run into capping kids' reading, but that has not been a problem for us. In fact, the teachers often are bringing books in from their home libraries because they think DS would like them.
DS has run for student counsel every year (sometimes successfully, sometimes not). He plays in the orchestra. He is active in the school's Kiwanis program. He was on student newspaper. He dresses up for every day of spirit week. He ran cross country and now he is on the tennis team. He's been known to pinch hit for the cafeteria ladies when they are short staffed. That boy is everywhere and into everything. Frankly, I really think that I would be holding him back socially if we tried to homeschool him! There is no way I could support that kind of social activity.
I cannot promise you the same kind of experience. But I felt the same panic you are back when I first saw how far DS was several years ago. But we stayed the course, thinking it was only a matter of time before things collapsed. But they did not collapse and he's in middle school now and thriving.
I think the two keys are that home life is very intellectually stimulating (lots of family discussions, trips, reading together), and that he has never been one to hide his abilities. As a result the teachers push him and respond well when he asks for harder work.
I hope our sample size of one is helpful to you!
