I think spotlight works. DD hates piano practice, though she will say she hates piano. But she likes the performance. Yesterday she had a recital and worked hard on these pieces to get them like her teacher wanted them. And after her performance, which was really good, she told me she felt proud about it. Though doing the practicing was a nightmare to get through. And she wanted to coast and just play them they way she was playing them instead of fixing little things that her piano teacher wanted so they wouldn't sound like every other kid...(I am glad she didn't ask why she had to sound different)
And this year she is doing the Nutcracker, small role, but the whole thing is getting her really excited about dance, more than I have seen her in a long time.
Which is great news since we cut gymnastics and I wanted to focus on dance to narrow the activities.
And I always use the "options" argument. I don't know and she doesn't know what she will want to do when she is 20. I want her to have options. Does she want to have options? If she doesn't always push to do her best, she won't have options. She will have some path, but what if she wants another path but she didn't do the work? So I put it in her lap. Since this is a continuous thread for years now, she gets the options thing is for her to have choice and she cannot argue with that one.
So when she procrastinates or does poorly, she is limiting her options.
Ren
