Grinity - Sorry, I should clarify! I don't want to encourage him to be a class clown, or have any disruptive behavior. What I meant was that he is a very creative, imaginative, and funny kid -- all positive qualities that I want him to embrace in himself, not push away. Class clown was a really poor word choice on my part because that implies disruptive and negative behavior, which of course we don't want to encourage. That is the kind of behavior that will come out if he gets bored or frustrated.
I think in an ideal world a child would grow into having some self mastery about what kind of behavior comes out under trying circumstances. There are so many ways to solve problems instead of acting out. I'm grateful that my child acted out, because that was what it was going to take to get it through my thick head that there was a problem. But your child has a mom who already knows whats what. Definitely make sure that they will be forthcoming with the 'bigger kid' works as needed, and some Montessori quite miss the point and get hung up on kids prgressing in some preconcieved developmental order, which our kids don't do. So it's not impossible that your child will need your advocacy, or a new school at some point, but putting that aside for a moment, lots of kids need structure to grow the strength to 'turn it on' and 'turn it off' when the situation warrants. Sort of like kids who move between 2 households with 2 seperated parents and 2 sets of rules. My brothers and I grew up in a united household, but with 'inside the family' rules and 'in public' rules, and I'm so grateful that
a) I learned how to eat with silverware AND
b) I wasn't forced to do it inside the family every single meal
I know kids who had to have perfect table manners every time, and other kids who never learned at all. I think I had the best of both worlds, and that we sell kids short when we don't expect them to learn context specific rules. One of my favorite ideas is 'code-switching' and to me, 'school rules and home rules' are an example of nonverbal codeswitching. see
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code-switchingThis is a long way around my hope that you'll be able to enjoy the process and lend your brave and strong boy some support.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
