My goal is to help my son figure out how to work around his disabilities. Learning as much as we can about this disability helps us make decisions about things like extracurricular activities.
For example, my son is taking an MMA class. He wanted to learn all of it, including the boxing. He found that on some days he could handle the one hour class (although it left him exhausted because of his endurance issues) and other days when he was starting to get a headache his timing was just a little off and he would end up feeling like he was going to throw up. Timing being a little off is a problem when he is blocking punches. One day his sparring partner hit him in the face. My son told him it was okay and he continued with the lesson, but the guy felt bad about it. Also, the position my son had to stand in to do the boxing hurt his back (because of the scoliosis) but he could tolerate the back pain well enough to do what he needed to do for one hour.
My son didn't want his dad or anyone else to think of him as a quitter. He was trying his absolute best to do well and he felt good about being able to talk about MMA with other guys. MMA is considered a much more "manly" activity than musical theater and now that he is a teenager he is more concerned about what others think.
We decided, based partly on the information we found on how migraines, that it would be best for him to only do the Brazilian Jujitsu. My son knows that we do not see him as a quitter.
My husband talked to the instructor last night. He explained once again how the disabilities affected our son. The instructor said our son has a really good attitude and works very hard. He had seen a lot of kids who did not have a good attitude and said they are much harder to teach. He didn't want to see my son quit. But he also said it isn't fair to his sparring partner if he has to stop and take a break, so for now my son will only do BJJ.
My son is also continuing with musical theater where he continues to get lead roles that require a lot of memorization of lines, lyrics, and dance routines because he has a good attitude and works hard. He just takes breaks when he needs to and the director and the other kids understand this.
He is also continuing with piano lessons. He has been practicing almost every day and doing well, except of course when he has a migraine.
My son feels more confident about his ability to succeed knowing that he is not the only one experiencing the difficulties with the headaches. He knows there are others who are successful despite having to deal with them. I see this as a positive thing.
