Kriston,
I have struggled somewhat with the same issue. Last year I was wondering if my DD5 was even gifted and how I was going to deal with what seemed to be the inequitities of having a PG child and a bright but not gifted child. During this time I began searching for my younger dd's gifts. I truly believe there is something special about each child we just have to discover what it is. I realized that she enjoys beautiful things like colors, fabric/clothes, and music. My younger dd inherited the musical genes from my DH's side of the family. She has incredible rhythm and an amazing voice. She can project like an opera singer, which can also be a curse for her mother. My younger dd is not interested in academics like her older PG sister. Just moments ago my little dd said, "School is dumb." I am currently homeschooling her (and doing a very poor job of it) until she is old enough to go to public school.
My dds simply have different gifts. One is an artist and scholar while the other is a musician and designer. I try to expose both girls to a variety of experiences. Both girls take piano and art but at some point they will have to focus on their passion. Each has something special to offer the world.
It is likely that I will eventually have to homeschool my older dd, but I do not think that homeschooling is the best thing for my younger dd. Ironically, we were discussing the homeschooling/public schooling issue in our local PG group the other day. There were five of us currently homeschooling one child while having another child in public or private school. One of the moms mentioned that the homeschooling community tends to frown on this but nobody in the PG group gave it a second thought. In the PG world you work so hard to find the right educational fit that you cannot be tied down by the expectations or traditions of society.
Regarding the DYS issue. The only thing I have found where a sibling is excluded is the gathering. If attending the gathering is important to your YS, make that weekend a special opportunity for your other child in a different way. In our local PG group siblings are invited to participate in all activities. On the rare occasion that we (as parents) chose not to include the other sibling, we do something else special for her.
I also have baggage from my childhood. My sister and I grew up with the understanding that I was the intellectual/driven one and she was the pretty/social one. We both accepted our respective "label" without receiving too much damage from it. Though I was really bummed when I found out as an adult that my sister had a higher IQ than I did. Now she is the pretty one and the smart one. (sigh) From my childhood baggage I make sure to tell both my children that they are smart and beautiful but I still recognize their unique gifts and encourage them to do what they love.
As I was reading this thread, a thought did cross my mind. What would you do if your DS6 liked to play football and your 3 year old were a girl? Would you not let your son play football because his sister could not participate? Just something to think about. For some reason athletics is such a great parallel to intellectual giftedness, yet we do not question the way the levels of giftedness are valued and nutured in athletics.
Sorry if I rambled.
Summer
