Our DS also struggled with writing and spelling until he had somewhat of a breakthrough when starting school this week. He's 7.5 in 2nd grade. He didn't want to know how to learn how to write before entering K, so we thought that would be a good goal for kindy (since he was already ahead in academics). The poor writing became especially apparent when he skipped first, which was a big writing year.
I think if the teacher is very laid back about it, it is helpful, especially for the perfectionist child. The 2nd grade teachers wouldn't make a big deal about spelling unless it was a spelling lesson. They would give him bigger lined paper to help with writing. Since DS's writing all of a sudden became legible, I'm thinking a lot of it was just developmental (his hands just couldn't do it quite yet). We also tried a bit of Handwriting Without Tears, but I was sort of lazy over the summer and we only did it a few times. So that's why I think that it's mostly developmental for our DS in terms of the neatness of the handwriting. But if your DD is willing, I'd recommend HWT or some other writing practice at home.
One thing that helped with spelling was (*gasp*) a Nintendo DS game. Super Scribblenauts seems to have been a huge help in his spelling (you spell something in the game and it appears - it's very cool).
Hopefully the teacher is supportive without being picky about how your DD writes. Good luck!
