He said he heard her say, "You're a smart one, aren't you? You'll have to help the teacher out with the other kids."
Should warning bells be going off like mad, or what?
Translation: Don't even think about being accepted as an equal by the other children, I'll never let that happen, you may as well align yourself with me, if you want to socialize with anyone. Also, I don't generally see children as deserving any bit of respect, only as 'babies' to be managed.
Warning bells? Well, it's hard to know if you'll find better locally - this may be a perfectly normal example of what's available. Also - she is bound to have some hidden strengths that she didn't demonstrate at the open house. That's why we call it the 'least-bad' option and go with it instead of driving ourselves crazy because it is so not a perfect world.
Which is why I'm such a big fan of
moving the child into settings where they don't stand out, but are just 'high average plus' - whenever possible. DS was very very sensitive to what I call the 'Pat Conroy/Prince of Tides' treatment,as in, 'don't tell the others but you're my favorite,' and resented it from an incomprehensibly young age.
Of course I'm not saying that the teacher's behavior is as extreme as that character....but I do see it as a continuum, even thought the mild end is totally socially acceptable and normal to most people - I don't like it. On the other hand, I've made a lot of parenting choices that are totally inexplicable to lots of other people, so I guess we just do what we can, and be the parents that we are.
((shrugs and more shrugs))
Grinity
