Wow CM, sorry to hear that. I think most of us have had similar experiences but not as direct as this was. Usually it's the look, that sure he did that look, or I guess you are one of those mothers looks! I commend you for actually bringing it up, of course doing so sort of opens a wound that you either need to lance or paper over. I am wondering if the fact that she hasn't met your DS combined with your already self censoring makes what you do mention sound like exaggerations. So you can either open the floodgates and really let her into your lives or continue on and just accept that she thinks this is arrogance on your part. IME most people think other people should just do what they did whether it's breast feeding, testing, 2 vs 3 sports, etc, if you are doing something different than she did, she is trying to rationalize why you would need to do what she
didn't and it CAN'T be that your kid NEEDS more than hers. It sounds to me like a defense mechanism. But I can understand why it irks you, but I think there is something about kids that inserts stuff like this into friendships where it didn't exist before.
I only have one friend IRL who I can be honest with - her kid is 10 months older and
mine has moved way ahead of him in most subjects. She was incredibly supportive
through this past difficult year of trying to get DS into an appropriate school, but yet, I really worried about seeming to say your school isn't good enough.
Thankfully we have moved past it.
It's interesting from the outside why she feels the need to dismiss, why she couldn't just accept it at face value. But I find it is a rare person who accepts a parents version of
gifted, whether it's singing or maths.
And don't feel embarrassed for posting - this is where these thoughts should be!
DeHe
Last edited by DeHe; 08/19/11 01:17 PM.
