I am desperately afraid to try to desensitize her ourselves - she has been having such a relaxed, anxiety free summer I just don't have the heart to get her all stressed out again.
If she gets stressed out during the process then it isn't working properly and it's time to hire someone with experience to do it. It has to be very very gentle. I've got dieting on the mind, but it can't be a crash diet, it has to be a barely noticeable balancing of one's eating and moving so that the weight comes off very slowly, and yet there has to be some movement in the positive direction.
What would it take to move so slowly that lots of laughter comes out of her. That is a sign that the fears are gently moving away. Eventually there will be a tantrum followed by a calm sweetness. That's how you know it's working.
You have to talk to your DD - such as "A friend of mine has a daughter in a classroom with a color chart, and it makes the daughter very sad. Do you have any ideas how to improve the color chart so the girl won't be so sad?"
Then based on what she says, you can start very gently - maybe you want to have a chart for your behavior and she is the one who moves it? (do you have any habits you are trying to break? It could be specific) Maybe you want to make a big art project about how much we hate color charts so that everyone who sees it will understand?
My husband used to pretend to be afraid of Pikachew when DS was about 4 - I have no idea why, but he liked making it funny about "You aren't going to show me that yellow guy with the zig-zag tail, are you?" DS would try to scare him and laugh and laugh. Fears are part of every child's life, but when they limit important activities, like going to school then they are a problem.
This whole post sounds exhausting - what about homeschooling for a year instead?
And can you talk about the dyslexia thing some more - I'm still totally not get getting why you belief that she actually has issues, and it wasn't just a test artifact of the anxiety....
Someone on the DYS email lists recently asked a similar question about Dyslexia, and another mom suggested (I removed all the personal information:)
the family may want to contact some local reading specialists and see if they might find someone who is trained in a
variety of methods They may be able to find someone with reasonable rates through the International Dyslexia Association. They have provider lists by state on their website
www.interdys.org. They also have branches in individual states, which may have more recommendations.
I think that part of the reason you are so upset is that last year was so bad. But I think that the other part is that neither option of PS with color chart nor Private with financial strain is working for you. Perhaps time to go back to the drawing board and think of more options?
such as -
Homeschool for a year and let the pubic school provide their special ed services.
Private school on a trial basis so you can dump it mid year if it isn't working out.
Private school without the expensive dyslexia help, and look for dyslexia help on your own.
Can anyone else think of other alternatives?
Hope that helps
Grinty
