I don't know if that is in the normal range and I'm just thrown because his reading skills are so much higher than his writing, or if I should be starting to look at OT or something like that.
The only way to know if his skills are in the normal range is to get him checked by a OT or knowledgable tutor.
But his skill level isn't his problem - his problem is that his perfectionism is making him judge his skill level too harshly, and that is blocking his chance to get enough practice to develop normally. And because he has 'normal' gifted intensity, what that process looks like is a tantrum. He could just as easily be perfectionist and 'decide' that he can't even try and skip the tantrum but do all kinds of sneaky things to distract you from demanding that he do the work, but that isn't his way. (There is a lot to appreciate about a straight up WYSIWYG kind of kid - but it's hard on the ears.)
I would say that your job is to 'be the wall' and insist the he do some fine motor practice daily - it could be playdoh, musical instrument, typing practice, cutting up magazine picture 'whatever' but he must do something. He will probably continue to have tantrums for quite some time, and if that doesn't deter you, then it's fine also. But given human nature, it's probably easier to go to the OT, be sure that his skill level is age-normal, and then get some outside resource to hold everyone accountable that there is some sort of progress. ((Kind of like those weekly weigh-ins at the diet clubs))
I think that someone here has gone through the training that HWT offers, yes? ((Who was that?)) If there is not compatible person locally, I would try to hire her to help you plan homeschool writing curriculum for your son, or get advice if you should take the training yourself.
Scour the website - they even have free downloadable practice sheets:
http://www.hwtears.com/hwtAs for the perfectionist behavior problem - that is going to be an ongoing struggle, but it's a great sign that you noticed it at work trying to rob your son of valuable fine motor practice and are formulating a plan of attack. Yes - it's a noisy road ahead.
If you want to work on 'downmodulating' the intensity directly, (does it bother you when he has tantrums?) try meditation (you or him, LOL!) or 'Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook' by Lisa Bravo. Our intense kids are INTENSE! Yes?
Love and More Love,
Grinity
