My DD is an extreme perfectionist, and I know the testing upset her when she could not get 100% of the questions correct. This is something I am trying to work on with her. I really am not sure why she is so hard on herself, because I keep telling her that mistakes are OK.
This is what I've seen -
1) In some kids, perfectionist behavior is just the way they were born.
2) In other kids, the parents 'say' mistakes are OK, and then rip themselves up emotionally over the mistakes that they make.
3) But for most of the kids who show up here, the parents are making a consciensous effort to publically forgive themselves in the ordinary course of the day, it's plain and simple a reaction to lack of challenge in the classroom. In my son, I could actually monitor how good the classroom fit was by how severe his perfectionist behaviors were and by how willing he was to try new tasks that he might not have instant success in. Apparently kids need lots of chances to work hard and make good effort, and delay educational gratification to build real self esteem. 1000 'good job' stickers just isn't going to do it for these kids.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
