OKAY.
Well that could have gone worse...
Started with the principal asking me to tell me about my daughter, which I did, restraining myself from getting all 'and when she was 2 months old...' only in consideration of our time limit.
Basically just explained why I thought to put her in school early to begin with, why I got testing, etc.
Then she showed me dd's k-entry assessment, which showed a good but not perfect score on letter-id and everything else right on the shapes, colors, etc. She showed me a "classic" kid drawing that dd had done, girl with triangle body/dress, round head and stick arms. (how EMBARASSING! -- just kidding).
Anyway, so after she explained that she thought dd would struggle in first (I guess despite doing pretty good in k already) I brought out my folder of little things she has done with me or brought home from school.
It was really a good feeling to be able to counter this 'low spatial awareness' kindergarten-style drawing with one of dd's more amazingly complex geometric freak-out drawings. Seriously, I think the principal didn't say anything at all for a couple seconds. (Not that I put a whole lot of stock in that being 'telling' for cognitive ability, but for style, it definitely gets points!

It was fairly abstract but as a demonstration of spatial awareness, I think the symmetry and dynamic composition do ok. And I did give my two cents about how dd only started drawing these bodies after going to K (didn't remember to mention all her drawing from 'above' with 100% foreshortening of the little people standing in a garden...darn it!)
I also had made up a quick 15 problem math sheet for her to 'show her stuff' and handed that over, pointing out she is doing pretty well, and knows all about zero, which was particularly delightful to her to figure out on her own.
Some notes she's written, and a couple spelling games we'd played on paper in the past.
Anyway, she seemed to ignore the testing for the most part, no mention of the 140 'performance' score, just mentioned that her processing speed might be an issue if she was moved ahead. 107? I got a kid with like 45 or something for psi, 107 is totally not scary to me. (I do take that somewhat seriously, but in the grand scheme, a slightly above average psi I would not think should hold her back.)
I mentioned that the math in particular seemed to be a real disappointment for our son in the last few years and differentiation did not seem to really come to fruition. She actually admitted that they were seeing this as a failure on their part in the first year since opening 3 years ago, and have been working on a plan to make more specific arrangements for each child (hmmm). Also, she said they have a substantially altered math curriculum for the coming fall, including such things as 7th grade work pulled down into 4th grade, which would have been awesome a couple years back!
I tried not to pull my ds experience into this too much, but a lot of where I am coming from has been formed from that experience, plain and simple.
So in the end we agreed to disagree for now, I need some more documentation from the Kindergarten, and they will do a reading assessment in August. If that goes ok, I think I will certainly move ahead. Apparently at this point, it is my decision, just need a couple more things in place. Whew.
I am going to review curriculum changes, and that sort of thing, however I am still leaning towards first for dd. Especially considering:
1. if she went to K she would probably do WAY too well and I can not keep feeding the perfectionism demon, and 2. getting a skip later will take FORever. First the kid has to be id'd gifted (months of paperwork, waiting, etc.) then they have to proceed with enrichment, THEN if she still needs more they consider skipping. and 3. she is NOT a patient or quiet person like my ds; if they start to mess with her, I don't know what is gonna happen. It would not be pretty.