My only concern about grade skip is that another child who recently went through this at our school hasn't been treated well by her peers in the grade she skipped to. ... I'm not willing to forsake DD's academic needs, but we also need to make sure the social situation is a fit.
Ouchies! I'm so sorry to hear that...Does your DD already have social connections to the older social group through her brother? It looks to me like you have a very delicate situation on your hands. We have faced this from time to time, and what we've done is watched DS suffer in one direction for a bit, then changed course and tried something new. It's almost never perfect, but it's never been as bad as all that either. ((shrug))
Just know that solutions that work for one family might not work for the next family. I do know that socially speaking, our son had 'mixed experiences' socially after his midyear skip in 5th grade. For us this was good because the year before at a different school in 4th he was so socially successful that he looked like he was going to go through that teenage - I don't care what my parent's think, it's what my friends think that matters - thing very 'precociously' and that wasn't a good thing. Once the social sparkle calmed down to a more normal 'highs and lows' and DS got skipped into 6th grade mid-year he was much more willing to rely on parental structure. But I will say that when DS switched school between 7th and 8th he had a terrific year socially - it did help that the new kids accepted him and his skip as a 'fait accompli' rather than watch it happen at their own school. But mostly DS was far more self comfortable and better behaved socially at that point.
Another issue the tester brought up was that it becomes difficult for girls when they start developing physically and emotionally (interest in boys) and our DD would be in the middle of that prematurely. I believe this is why she felt a gifted program would serve her well academically & socially. I would be interested to hear thoughts on this from those who have gone before us!!!
As for puberty and dating older classmates, yes, parents of girls have additional concerns that I didn't have to face. So I would encourage you to take the advice of your tester seriously - perhaps the ideal is out there - won't know until you look!
I hated girl-peers from age 12 until age 18. With a few wonderful exceptions, they were mostly boring and petty and mean. I don't know what happened at age 18, but suddenly they became fascinating, deep and wise. My theory is that puberty is hard.
I don't know if my 14 year old son is dating or not, but if he is, I hope he is being treated better by that age chunk of girls than I was. I don't envy him. I don't envy your daughter either, but I'm unhopeful that an extra year of shielding is going to make that much of a difference.
Remember - bullying isn't because of your glasses or nose size or having the temerity to skip, it's because peers and adults allow it to happen.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
P.S. If you walk into the school with acceleration off the plate, you are limiting yourself too much. Of course, with such a recent 'failure' on everyone's mind I would be surprised if the school was even willing. Better for them to cover up their own weaknesses, yes? Asking for a flexible '6 week trial' and see if things get better or worse might be the way to go. It may be that everyone learned from the pioneer's experience and the next full skip will go well...maybe?
And I don't blame you if it seems like 'too many choices and not enough good ones.'
