Squeaks,
It sounds like you've been doing battle for a long long time, and I remember my own days of this and wanted to send lots of love your way.
Have you read 'Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of the Gifted Child?' If not, I recommend you get ahold of it and read it.
When I look at the Achievement Scores and the IQ scores together, and hear you talking about 'how can I get the school to treat my child right?' - together I get a deep sense of fear.
Clearly something is very wrong at this school for this child. Of course it ought to be true that your child deserves an adequate public education. You might truly have no other options, in which case I would say - keep going!
But if there are other options, homeschooling or private schools that are either affordable, or would give need-based scholarships, or even charter or alternative schools, I would strongly urge you to look into them.
Of course it's the height to rudeness to look at a child's scores and read 2 paragraphs about the family and suggest a diagnosis over the Internet - so I'm certainly not going to do that. But I am curious if Aspergers Diagnosis is on the table? When you read books and articles about Gifted kids who also have Aspergers or Autistic Spectrum issues, do you recognize your child?
I'm asking because the subtest Comprehension and Picture Concepts are often lowered by those issues. And because I've heard that all kids with AS have ADHD and Anxiety as natural outgrowths of trying to navigate life.
Hoagie's page has a lot of links for Twice Exceptional resouces at
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/aspergers.htmI also know some families who accept the AS diagnosis to get services from the school even though their child doesn't really fit the picture, and where that's been helpful.
I'm wracking my brain to imagine what, exactly your school could provide that might make it a better learning environment for your son. Besides hand picking the teachers for having a strong desire to bring out the best in every student, I can't really imagine it. Would more advanced classes do the trick? Perhaps, but perhaps not. I guess a lot rides on if those Achievement scores reflect what he actually has learned, or if they are an artifact of his lack of focus.
Which brings me back to the issue of medication and other ADHD interventions. If I were in your shoes, my brain would be a swirl of questions about should I medicate for the anxiety? For the ADHD? If I am medicating, is it working? What kinds of interventions am I doing besides medication, and are they working? Some have found that by posting details about the questions that make our brains swirl, that we can get more peace and perspective through the process. If this is true for you, then I encourage you to post in more detail.
We are of the opinion that the mildly oppositional comments that some teachers are making are a direct relation to his inquisitivenss and "need to know". He doesn't satisfy easily and is intense.
I do think that giftedness has something to do with this - and at earlier ages my PG/ADD/Anxiety son shared this behavior with your son, but I wouldn't encourage you to frame this as a Gifted Issue. I would either move the child to a school where this sort of behavior is encouraged, or work hard to modify the child's behavior - medication if needed, or behavioral interventions to decrease the anxiety or increase the social sensitivity. To say "oh he's gifted" doesn't leave you any way to change things. And , while I agree that you son is gifted, based on the scores posted, he is likely to be in the 'more rather usual' range of giftedness that schools would be likely to be rather more comfortable with if it weren't for the anxiety and ADHD driven behaviors.
A very good book about working with your child that you might have luck sharing with teachers is -
Notching Up the Nurtured Heart Approach - The New Inner Wealth Initiative for Educators - Perfect Paperback (Jan. 23, 2011) by Howard Glasser with Melissa Block, Chris Howell and Richard Diffenderfer
This 'nurtured heart approach' is the only thing that really helped my son get mastery over his 'emotional immaturity.'
Peace Hands Bow,
Grinity
