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    #45917 04/28/09 12:52 PM
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    Mom0405 Offline OP
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    I am trying to decide on whether to send my DS4 (just turned) to a pv preschool next year. I am waiting (too patiently) for WPPSI scores - 2+wks now.

    He loves being with other kids; but if they are mean, he will act out; and we may lose him for another 6 months, as he shuts down and regresses in everything. I just want him to find one good friend, and love to learn again.

    At the school we are looking at, they do not split kids by ability; but most are supposedly fairly advanced. Again, he will be initially interested with the newness of the classroom, etc; but later on, when not challenged, I fear that he will roam. One of the teachers said that they let one girl sit and "write" in her journal when they do something she already knows. Hmmm.

    They have great art, music, spanish and drama programs available for pre-k's. School is pre-k through hs, and has pretty much all sports as well (although DS may not be the athletic type - who knows though). He loves music and art.

    My question is, if you have the choice to home school or not (I really do NOT want to), or could send your child to any school around you, what do you all feel are the most important parts of having your kids in school. I am probably looking for pros and cons that I haven't thought of to help us in our decision. My DS is an only child; and I am very protective of who he hangs out with, and the respect they have for others. The school fosters this as well, with character training by reading books about itand discussing it with the kids. I actually observed this in a K class.

    Having said all of this, I really do want him in school. So, please give me additional criteria to help decide.

    p.s. He was slow to speak; so being with very articulate kids REALLY helps him...almost instantly.

    Thanks.



    Last edited by Mom0405; 04/28/09 01:00 PM.

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    I think you've answered your own question. If you don't want to homeschool, I think homeschooling will not be a positive experience. For our family, because I DO want to homeschool, homeschooling has many more positive qualities than public or private school. For you, it doesn't. I don't know why you are even considering it if it is not what you want for yourself or your child. I hope this does not come off as insensitive...but reading your post I get the impression that you are feeling guilty about sending him to school and I don't think you should feel that way at all. If homeschooling isn't what you want, it just isn't. Perhaps you will change your mind about it someday, or perhaps not. Right now, it sounds like your mind is made up.

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    My DS went to private preschool, PS k, and 1 month of PS 1st before we had him tested. I liked the idea of HSing, but never really considered it until I realized the school was not going to help/accommodate my son. So I pulled him out and have been HSing ever since. If we had the money, I would have put him in private school. This was 2 years ago....and I now feel very grateful that we didn't have the money. If we won the lottery tomorrow, I would still HS.

    When DS entered K, I had this feeling of "what happened to my kid?" He was changing, and I felt like I was losing closeness with him. I don't like how public school can make kids become more peer dependent. (no flames please. just my opinion.) I want what I think to be more important to my son than what his peers think. I could go on and on about that, but a good book to read in Holding On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld.

    Short answer: HSing has brought our family much closer. I am so grateful for that. Kids grow up so fast.

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    Quote
    He was slow to speak; so being with very articulate kids REALLY helps him...almost instantly.

    Being in a class with older children, or in a HS co-op with older children will be your best bet for this.

    But like the previous poster said, if you truly don't want to HS, then you will have to look for other options.

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    Mom0405 Offline OP
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    I am worried about his well-being more than anything. I am looking for what those positive qualities are.

    Please mention if the child is an only or not. Thank you!


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    Mom0405 Offline OP
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    Do you have more than one child as well? Would you have HS'd with just one?


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    I really just want to do what is best for DS. I honestly don't know what that is right now.:/


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    DD3 is an only so far (and likely permanently). For us, homeschooling offers me benefits--I enjoy being with DD, talking & thinking about a wide variety of things, and I can only imagine it getting better & better when she is into more & more difficult topics. She is a challenging and sensitive child and I get her; I would hate to send her off to a teacher who might not get her. I want to stay connected to her and know what is going on in her life. For her, I want the incredible flexibility of education that homeschooling affords, which is totally lacking in most schools. I want her to learn new and interesting things, rather than be drilled in things she has known for years. We are in a relaxed homeschooling coop now, so DD does get to experience the class-with-peers thing, and we will likely continue that or even dual enroll with public school for non-academic topics (gym, art, music) when she is technically school-aged.

    I don't see many benefits to most public or private schools for a HG+ kid other than as a babysitter. I guess this is mostly a reaction to my own experience being PG in public school. But I stick by what I said: If you aren't into it, homeschooling isn't the answer. An unhappy/overtired/disgruntled/frustrated/resentful mother will do more damage than good. Homeschooling really isn't for everyone. Oh, I guess I would say that public school (if not private school) can have the benefit of exposing a child to a wide variety of people, which is something that homeschooled kids do not always get.

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    I have 2 children. Ds8 and DD5. DD will go to PS K in the fall, but I am doing that just to satisfy her curiosity. I think she will get board very quick. I think though, that if DS hadn't gone to PS first, I wouldn't realize how wonderful HSing is. You just can't beat the flexibility of not being tied to a PS.

    There are many options to get her with other children, if you chose to HS. Just google HS + your state....you should find many HS groups. I always tell people to look on the yahoo groups. That's where my local group chats.

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    DS5, our only child, is finishing his 2nd year of PT private preschool. We sent him starting at 3 because that's what everybody did around here. In retrospect, one year would have been plenty.

    Because we have just the one child, we are fairly new in the town we live in, and DS was never in day care, one of the biggest benefits for DS was exposure to other kids. He is not really making any great friends at this point, and I don't know if it's age-related or personality-related. He is certainly friendly with all the kids, but I think he's just too young to be making good friends. Another benefit is that he learned how to listen to, behave for, and follow the rules of another adult (besides his parents/grandparents). The other benefit was that I could do some freelance work while DS was in school.

    Next year we plan to send DS to public kindergarten, with differentiation. The benefits include my going back to work (hopefully!). With luck, other benefits will include DS learning how to write/spell, which he resists at home, and continuing to learn all kinds of new things. We hope that he likes school. We shall have to wait and see. The major "con" i can see so far is that there are not kids at DS's level in town, and so a lot of the time he will probably be the only one learning a particular topic. But that is how it would be if he were homeschooled too, so I guess it's not really a con if just comparing school to homeschool.

    We know that we may have to make several adjustments to our school plan as time goes on, so our overall plan is just to remain flexible.

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