Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Advice for profoundly gifted and imaginative 7yo?

Our boy (7) has been tested to 145+ on the WISC-V. It almost seems as if he lives in a fantasy world. Ask him if he would like more oatmeal, and he replies that the house is under attack by the snake people from Ninjago. You ask him what he's been doing at school, and he says something like they were crawling around on the school roof shooting zombies. He answers almost every question in a crazy/surprising way. He has an extreme ability to empathize and treats his stuffed animals like real animals. He often insists that "events" which obviously did not happen, really did happen. Since he was 10 months old, he has been talking almost constantly, and it often drives us crazy. He is extremely curious and asks questions of everything he meets, and it often drives us crazy . He has never needed a TV, computer or tablet to entertain himself - he can get a surprising amount of fun out of a few pine cones and a pile of dead leaves. He is very creative and can spend hours and days building strange Lego creations or making his own board games.

We live in Denmark, where he goes to a special school for gifted children. The school, at least in the small classes, mostly focuses on developing the children's social skills, and the teaching is quite ordinary, although they go through the curriculum a little faster than usual. He has very little interest in classical school subjects such as spelling, reading, mathematics and foreign languages. When you insist that he makes an effort, he is extremely strong in mathematics and he also reads really well. But he could never dream of touching his schoolbooks in his spare time, or asking for more or more difficult homework.

After all, there is a consensus that gifted children must be held to the fire and learn to make an effort and that they benefit from accelerated education. But how do you do that in an appropriate way when the child clearly prefers play, creativity and inventions to classical teaching? How do you teach the child to make an effort without the child losing his creative and imaginative abilities? We have often considered hiring a private tutor who could teach him, for example, mathematics at a higher and far more specialized level than what takes place at school, but this does not immediately feel like the right solution for him - there is a great risk that he will see it as a kind of punishment rather than a "gift". Should we completely forget about the classical education and just let him cultivate his creative abilities?

All experiences with and good advice about such children are very welcome!

Welcome, Kim!

Every child of whatever description is unique, so please keep in mind that my thoughts and suggestions are in the context of my own experiences, and that you know your own child best. But, fwiw, I am very much in favor of allowing children to learn in joy. He is still very young, and his imaginative play is entirely age-appropriate in some ways (although to a much higher degree of complexity and sophistication than many of his age-peers, in keeping with his cognition). Will he eventually need more academic advancement? Most likely, but as you report, when presented with academics, he quickly picks them up. As long as you maintain a rich, interesting, intellectually curious environment around him, I suspect that he will show you that he is ready and motivated to engage in more formal academics. It may be that his school is currently sufficiently engaging and satisfying to him intellectually because he is busy developing other important aspects of himself.

I have frequently mentioned in these pages that my criteria for appropriate educational decisions are that my children feel loved/are loving, are happy, and are growing as whole people.

Let me tell you a little story: One of our children is fairly gifted in music as well as academically. As a preschool-age child, DC requested and then raced through many early academic workbooks, reaching an end of kindergarten/beginning of first grade (so about age six) level in reading and math by age four. That fall, DC started play-based preschool a few mornings a week, and abruptly lost interest in academic workbooks (although DC did create a number chart 0-100 for a classmate, to "help" them learn their numbers!). Instead, DC became fascinated with making books, which encompassed cutting paper to the desired size and shape, coming up with ways to bind them (lots of tape, staples, and one request for a parent to sew), writing and illustrating. This lasted for about six months, before DC spontaneously returned to interest in formal academics.

At the same time, DC had a long-standing interest in playing the piano, singing, and writing songs (for both), but expressly refused to take piano lessons from me; I was firmly informed (by DC) that DC would accept instruction at a very specific age. On that exact date, we started piano lessons, and continued consistently until DC turned 13. At that point, two things happened more or less simultaneously (leaving aside, of course, that DC also became a teenager, which is hardly insignificant!): piano lessons stopped (due to DC's lack of interest in classical music and formal instruction), and DC also stopped doing certain academic subjects. By then, we were homeschooling, so both of these were probably related both to DC's internal developmental process and to the interpersonal developmental process between parent (me) and adolescent child (DC). For the following six months, DC did almost no academic work in the math curriculum, and, in fact, ended up taking two and a half years to (not quite) finish the next year's worth of the precalculus syllabus. OTOH, DC spent many hours each day, unprompted, at the piano, writing original pieces, learning songs of personal interest by ear (and occasionally even working them out from sheet music), and making huge leaps in pianistic and musical development--but on their own terms, and on self-selected content. After about a year of independent piano studies, DC requested piano lessons, with the specific goals of learning to improvise effectively from chord charts, and of learning to sing and play at the same time. We found an instructor and provided those lessons for a year (until the teacher moved away), after which DC dove back into academic math.

Fast forward a bit, and that child completed university one year early for age, summa, with double degrees including a STEM field, and is now thriving in a highly-selective doctoral program. Music and composition continue to be major parts of DC's life.

All of which is to say that it is quite possible (even expected, in some cases) for a gifted child to allow certain areas to lie fallow (so to speak) for a time, perhaps while they are diving into another area of interest, and then to pick them back up when they are ready, and quickly absorb those skills and concepts. Could we have pushed formal academics more? Certainly. But it's hard to imagine generating better nominal (long-term) academic outcomes than the ones that actually resulted, and even if it were, the possible costs in self-motivated learning, creativity, joy, and possibly our parent-child relationships were not something that we were willing to assume merely for any incremental benefit in year of graduation or additional degrees earned.

So while -- as for any parenting decision -- there may be situations where you need to make choices on behalf of your child, when he cannot see his own best long-term interest, or doesn't know the entire range of options, I think you will find that your knowledge of your child will show you when he needs more structured instruction, and when his interest-led explorations are sufficient.

Hi aeh,

thank you so much for taking the time to share your story.

Basically, it is also my immediate feeling that nothing long-term positive is likely to come out of speeding up academic activities.

Since I sent the post, we have consulted one of the leading gifted children psychologists in Denmark and had her guide about learning style on the basis of an analysis of the various indices in the WISC-V test. She didn't really have any concerns about the boy's "creativity" and lack of interest in traditional school work, but she was quite clear about learning style: Because of high index scores in fluid reasoning and visual spatial (rather than verbal comprehension), our boy supposedly had a distinct preferred learning style that hardly could be accommodated in particularly many schools in Denmark (he preferred a holistic, visual and hands-on approach to learning, rather than to sit on the chair and listen to the teacher or reading text books). She also believed that his imaginative and creative behavior could partly be seen as a mirror of his preferred learning style.

I am glad that you have received some additional useful information from local resources. I have also found that the kinds of strengths your child exhibits on the WISC are less-easily supported in conventional schools (in North America, as well), as the kind of divergent-creative problem-solving at which he excels is not really offered much scope (or even required at all) until the post-secondary/university level, in most cases.

He is blessed to have perceptive and caring parents who appreciate him as he is.

I have a gifted 8 yo that very much fits this description. We joke that he’s like Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes (he also loves Calvin & Hobbes). He is always in play mode. Always making sound effects. Funny. Builds elaborate imaginary worlds in his head and through pretend play. Has an imaginary world called “baby world” that he talks about. Makes comics. Draws. Builds things. Makes plays and puppet shows. Makes stop motion videos. Reads comics. Mostly just plays all the time.

He has been tested at school and is academically gifted. He is content to do the advanced work school provides, but wouldn’t ask about it otherwise. Our school clusters gifted students and I think those are the kids he relates to best, so being in gifted schooling is socially comfortable for him.

The only extra academic thing he’s been interested in is an elementary math circle at our library. They share math concepts and do collaborative math activities.

He’s done some art classes which he enjoys but doesn’t really ask to go back.

My parenting for him has been mainly to protect his play time. I make sure he’s not over scheduled and that he’s always getting recess. He loves social play. He plays with neighbors and I plan meet ups with his friends and go to busy social places like swimming pools. He also loves to bike.

I also take him to arts related things: plays, orchestra, etc. We went to an immersive art experience that he loved.

Our whole family has a visual spatial orientation. My profession is visually oriented. I am willing to trust that he will find a way into work and life that appeals to him and works with his strengths.

You might find Peter Gray very interesting. He’s a big advocate for play and explains why it’s important and what kids are learning when they play. Look for interviews and his books.

You might also like the book Visual Thinking by Temple Grandin. It talks about how some people lean more towards visual spatial strengths and how we as a society don’t value and support them.

Thank you so much for sharing, millersb02. I will definitely look into Gray and Grandin.