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    justinwilliams, Jessica D, Xtydell, lll, A WA parent
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    aeh Offline
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    Originally Posted by MichelleC
    Addendum: it seems a common experience that while parents are simply trying to talk about the child, teachers hear "bored" as a direct accusation of incompetence.
    Not surprising, as student engagement is a common standard on teacher evaluation rubrics. They've been trained to hear student boredom as an evaluative comment on their professional competence.

    Now that I think about it, it might not be a bad idea to look up the teacher evaluation standards in one's community, make a note of key buzzwords and criteria for master teachers, and tailor one's language to communicate most effectively and positively with teachers in a way that avoids triggering defensiveness and fear, and validates to whatever extent the strengths to which they may aspire.


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    Originally Posted by aeh
    Originally Posted by MichelleC
    Addendum: it seems a common experience that while parents are simply trying to talk about the child, teachers hear "bored" as a direct accusation of incompetence.
    Not surprising, as student engagement is a common standard on teacher evaluation rubrics. They've been trained to hear student boredom as an evaluative comment on their professional competence.

    Now that I think about it, it might not be a bad idea to look up the teacher evaluation standards in one's community, make a note of key buzzwords and criteria for master teachers, and tailor one's language to communicate most effectively and positively with teachers in a way that avoids triggering defensiveness and fear, and validates to whatever extent the strengths to which they may aspire.

    I had a meeting recently with dd2's teacher and other staff and used the verbiage "dd is not engaged in her learning right now". The teacher took it much better than if I had said she's bored or unhappy and cries about coming to school. The meeting actually ended up being very positive resulting with multiple ideas on how to engage dd in the classroom and tailor work for her and her learning style/interests. I try to avoid the word bored at all costs.

    Last edited by mountainmom2011; 03/10/15 09:27 PM.
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    Originally Posted by aeh
    Originally Posted by MichelleC
    Addendum: it seems a common experience that while parents are simply trying to talk about the child, teachers hear "bored" as a direct accusation of incompetence.
    Not surprising, as student engagement is a common standard on teacher evaluation rubrics. They've been trained to hear student boredom as an evaluative comment on their professional competence.

    Now that I think about it, it might not be a bad idea to look up the teacher evaluation standards in one's community, make a note of key buzzwords and criteria for master teachers, and tailor one's language to communicate most effectively and positively with teachers in a way that avoids triggering defensiveness and fear, and validates to whatever extent the strengths to which they may aspire.
    Great points!

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    AHEJA44 Offline OP
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    Her fine-motor skills are really good for her age, I think. As far as completing tasks...it depends on the task required of her. If she is motivated, she is lightning quick. If I'm asking her to clear the table for dinner and she's reading a book, I might as well be talking to a brick wall! As for responding, I noticed that when she was younger, she needed a lot of time to process her thoughts before she could verbalize her feelings. We had a lot of miscommunication and tantrums before I realized what was happening and gave her the space and vocabulary to better express herself.

    I asked the psychologist what the test was like, and it sounds like she had to draw symbols to match other symbols - so I can definitely see why her PSI score might have been low; she was probably trying to draw them to match perfectly...

    Anyway, the psychologist said it wasn't anything to be concerned about and that she sees a lot of gifted kids who also score low in PSI due to perfectionism, etc., which makes sense to me.

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    AHEJA44 Offline OP
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    This is a GREAT list and I wish I had it when I went into the meeting.

    Overall, I came away with mixed feelings. I just wish I was a little better prepared. The meeting was very short and really just consisted of the special ed. teacher going over the two goals to be met by the end of the year. When I expressed that the goals seemed very simple, I felt like she gave some push back. I'm very sensitive about coming across as a "tiger mom" so I didn't want to press the issue, but I'm hoping that once she is working with my child regularly, she will get to know her better. Can her goals be revised as she is working on them?

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    AHEJA44 Offline OP
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    This makes a lot of sense. I feel bad now for telling DD's kindergarten teacher that DD was "bored" at school. In light of this thread, I realize now how graciously her teacher responded at the time.





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