Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion The gift of time

I would 3rd this thought. I had no idea my oldest was even gifted before he got to kindergarten. He was old for grade (Oct birthday). Our school only had all day kindergarten. He would have had serious disciplinary issues a year earlier. A year later he enjoyed his peers and the flexible classroom. Another year later, we made the decision to homeschool which is definitely the right choice for him right now. And we still call him a 4th grader. He is very laid back compared to many kids on this board despite those achievement scores that seem to be at that PG level. He needs to work 3-6 grade levels ahead. With the focus and output required for a 4th or 5th grader.

So yesterday dd4 says they are not learning about Abraham Lincoln anymore, now they are learning about teeth. I asked her which was more interesting, and she said both. She said it's all very interesting, even science. I said, "especially science?"
She said, "It's ALL interesting! It's all great, I love learning." Again, seems to have been a good decision for her/us for now.

Print out those words and hang them somewhere where you'll see them often. That's the goal - and you are right on target.

I've been thinking about this lately. �Ds has a late birthday (october) so he can't start pre-k until �5 yrs. old. �He could enjoy a couple of years of school, then figure it out from there. �Or I can keep him home until he shOuld start first grade, since kindy's not manditory. �With his late birthday he'll be turning 7 in the October of that school year. �I think he'll be ready by this September. �He'll turn four this October, a month past the cut-off for pre-k. �Oh well. Who knows?

Wow! I couldn't agree more with the above sentiment. I just had a recent encounter with such a person. She kept probing for information. I'm, generally, tight-lipped about my DC's abilities. I figure DD can speak for herself and will show her stuff when she's ready. Still the other mom kept probing.

Anyway, one day she saw my daughter with an X-grade workbook. Or as my DD calls it "Game book". This mom took it as an opportunity to drill my child on the material and when DD resisted used that as *proof* against my child's abilities. That certainly struck me as defensive. It *really* ticked me off, too, to say the least.

The other mother is always going on about her child and his intellectual capabilities. I should have known that there was a huge comparison going on, but I didn't even think of it. Honestly, when someone tells me that their child can do/knows X,Y,Z I *belive* them. I don't use it as an excuse to compare or jump to test their child's knowledge when an opportunity arises. Sometimes, I wonder if the kid would be interested in a book club or somesuch with mine, but other that...I figure the parent knows their child.

Whatever the reason, I find such behavior - testing other people's children then vocally telling the child that "in their opinion" the child is incapable and the parent doesn't know extends far beyond defensiveness. It's plain disrespectful.

I don't *do* disrespectful. So, I ended the friendship on the spot. I am glad to know that it was all about sizing up and cutting down my kid so she could feel better about hers. It made it clear to me that spending more time in that situation was unhealthy. Perhaps, another red flag, was that the child tended to be a braggart about his abilities and tended to use the failings of other children to show how he was better than them. I thought it was just a bit of childish immaturity. Now, I'm not so sure.

Luckily for me such people don't come around often - the defensive turned outright rude kind, that is. The plain ole defensive type are a bit more prevalent, though.

MM.

P.S. I did resist the urge to tell the other mom that the book, while two grade levels above my DC's age, were still two to three levels below her ability. See, now *that* would have been bragging.

Mizzou, that does sound like the other mom definitely crossed a serious line! Yikes.
This reminded me of a completely different conversation I'd had a couple weeks back with another mom of a girl scout, she was asking about dd's grade, then age, then very specifically her birth month..I was really not sure what she was getting at (of course finding out exactly what dd is, I guess ??)
Anyway, I usually try to steer away from things like this by saying yeah, she's a bit young. This lady brought up the fact that she'd tried to move her own girl into k a bit early and had been told to 'give her the gift of time'. She sounded a bit cranky about the whole thing, but in the end I came away with the feeling she was more regretting a missed option rather than mad at me...
She continues to be friendly so I think she was just too curious, to my relief. But boy, that gift of time...whew!

One of the moms in DD7's class approached me at a school event last night, and the conversation went like this:
Her: Is that your daughter?
Me: Yes.
Her: How old is she?
Me: Seven
Her: She must be very advanced.
Me: She skipped 2nd.
Her: Yeah, [her son] told me.

It turned out that she was trying to figure out if DD had been held back earlier, then skipped to catch up with her age-mates. Her son (whom I'd thought was young-for-grade, based on his size and behavior, although he's clearly very, very smart) had repeated pre-K for non-academic reasons and was actually old-for-grade.

Yes, I need it posted for when I have the inevitable 'What did I do???' moments!