Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school toddler / young child learning

I'm a bit, well, confused, I guess. Absolutely every single parent or grandparent of a toddler I have run into talks about how amazing their child is and how they know all their letters, numbers, colors, or whatever. Every. Single. One. It may be that because I keep my mouth shut and don't share anything, I end up hearing more. I have absolutely no desire to join ranks of declarations on the details of what my children can know or do, but I am honestly baffled, wondering why I am so constantly bombarded with stories of 'brilliance'. (I understand it on gifted boards, these are entirely a different circumstance.) I can't believe that we have a coming generation of brilliant people coming in. What can I be seeing?

When my older kids were toddlers, it didn't occur to me to go out of my way to teach them these things, but they learned anyways. I do know that now it is the norm to teach them younger.

I have been wondering whether the rest of you are seeing a similar trend, and what you think of it.

Sorry I haven't had time to make this query more coherent. I'm on the run, as usual, but this has been bothering me, especially after hearing the same thing from yet two more places, yesterday.

Well are the parents being honest LOL I have a freind who told me her 3 yr old knew the letters but what she meant was he knew how to sing the alphabet but he could not identity them.
I have a lot of friends with kids and there is only 1 of them who has a girl who really did know the letters at 2 like my DS7 did. She is 3 now. MY other DS3 is no way near ready to learn the letters and numbers.

Unless you see it for yourself I would not believe just believe it all.

I've never heard a parent talk like that, but perhaps that's because most of my friends aren't terribly mainstream.

I agree with tracey. I came to discover early on that everybody defines things differently and in the end it is apples to oranges. Such as first words. When my daughter started putting sounds together I didn't consider it first words, but discovered that some of my friends did. Their idea of an acceptable word was when a child would produce some sound repeatedly for a specific object. Is that really a word? It's part of the gray area and why making blanket statements should not be considered absolute until we understand the person's definition. As for the learning of the ABCs; I have discovered many claims to be just that: being able to recite the abc song but not really identify the individual letters.

Oh ... and the teaching of the toddlers. We are definitely seeing a pattern in today's society. Someone posted a link to another board on this one recently and I was appalled by what it represented. Clearly a push to teach and in a way that was clearly competitive. I wish I could find that link again because I was trying to show my husband. I was floored. The board represented everything I dislike about curriculum for the toddler.

I think it's also telling that these claims are all about things the child can recite in response to a stimulus (letters, colors, etc.). Probably many bright youngsters can memorize such things. I think our whole culture has gotten over-obsessed about these things as signs of being advanced.

What I don't hear from these types of parents are idiosyncratic stories about their children's abilities. For example, Hanni (25 months) has invented a game called "pretend go duck park." I do a lot of the story-telling, but last night she contributed the idea that we needed to leave the duck park because it was too loud, so we drove away in a truck (she has never been in a truck), and Hanni drove the truck and Mama sat in the back with the koala and the sun-bear. (Oh sorry, did I just slip into the brag thread? ) Anyway, my point is, you don't find that kind of stuff on the "Kindergarten-ready" check-lists.

Until I hear that kind of story, the kind that doesn't follow the popular script of what an advanced child does, I just smile and nod and make polite noises.

Absolutely Meg! IMHO,creative, imaginative play is a major sign of a gifted child; far more than memorization. My DD has always had such an imagination and sense of humor (another sign). I will never forget her 'magic' shows at 6 months: hiding a toy baby bottle under herself in her carseat and asking "Where is it?". And as we played along and pretended (most of the time, because sometimes she did in fact trick us.) to be stumped, she would happily produce the missing bottle and squeal with delight. Even more telling was when I wouldn't play it her way and produce the hidden bottle just to see her reaction. Never once did she get upset but accepted she hadn't hid it well enough and the next time did an even better job. This example more than knowing her ABCs, numbers, objects, etc is an eye opening moment for us. It really showed her cognitive abilities and how advanced she was at such an early age.

And as for seeing it on Kindergarten-ready checklists ... why would you? The checklists are for the essentials needed to enter. What you described is signs of above and beyond. And btw ... great brag.

hmmmm, I don't hear too many moms bragging in that way, but I do chuckle a little bit when they puff up and tell me how little Jimmy can count to ten (at 3 or 4)or something like that. For me, the potential giftedness has more to do with the ease of learning those sort of things with little repetition and the sudden startling leaps they can make alongside great imagination and a sense of humor. Sometimes I will let certain things slip that my DD4 does, but it will be in the context of something and almost an accident rather than a moment to brag, but sometimes a mom just wants to brag because they are proud of their kid, and that's understandable and excusable unless they are trying to do it in a strange, competitive way. There seem to be areas of the country that are very competitive and preschools are very academic,etc. Where I live, things are fairly laid back and while moms seem to want to get their children in ballet, soccer, music lessons at three, there doesn't seem to be a strong focus on academics this young, but that may just be among my friends and at my DD's preschool.

It has been really interesting reading your perspectives. I'm just so freaking tired of hearing litanies of toddler alphabetical and numerical accomplishments. I couldn't say how many might be telling the truth, as I am getting this from so many sides lately. Fortunately, none are interested in comparing by asking what my children can/could do. I'm so turned-off the sharing of anything.

I do love hearing stories of bright and creative things children do. The stories - the different ways of thinking about and looking at the world. These are the things that make more sense -and better yet, are far more interesting and enjoyable.

Exactly! That's sort of my point. These . . . what shall we call them, pseudo-gifted kids? . . . the stories about them never go "off script."

Now, you're story about hiding the bottle, or the story someone posted recently about the kid memorizing hazardous materials signs, you know those are real! They've got the kid's personality written all over them.

lol. I love the hazardous materials signs. Makes me chuckle.

I'm thinking that the checklists for a variety of things will need to be revamped if they are looking for anything more than basic readiness. Then again, most kindergarten readiness things that I have read seem more focussed on ability to behave and function in a group environment, than where the child is academically.