Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Roadblock in Preschool - before DS even starts!

This is the only preschool, period. It is privately operated but under the auspices of the state government. There is also only one child care centre in town, so by virtue of the fact that some families need child care fulltime until school age, there is an alternative program offered there for kids up to 6 years. The latter is where DS had been attending until recently.

To be frank, my instincts tell me that this has all been way harder than it should've been and I feel like just keeping DS home. However, the reason we've tried so hard to get him in (despite his young age) still remains - he is so lonely, it's heart-breaking. Partly this is a result of our family situation (we've got no family here or friends that are more than casual acquaintances) but it's also DS personality as well. He makes the most of his playdates and has fun, but mostly he just wants to share his ideas with adults. Between DS and DD, both super-intense little 'sponges', DH and I aren't sure where to go with this. It's truly not about getting the kids into school asap (FWIW, looking at the end of K goals for the schools here, DS is long gone and DD22mths has probably mastered 70% of them.) Seeing DS has made a social connection of some sort with these kids, we really wanted him to have the chance to foster that, you know?

More thinking for us to do, I guess

Wow.... Red flags all over. I would definitly not be comfortable putting my child in that situation, but understanding it is really the only option for a preschoool, I understand the soul searching. We live in a small toen with only 1 preschool. We have chosen not to put DD in, and also not to put her in K here. Unless we move somewhere else before then, she will be 5.5 when she starts, and yet she has already mastered 95% of the end of year skills, at 32 months.... It definitly is hard for DD to find playmates though. However we did join a homeschool co-op that had a preschool group. I thought she might make some friends there, however she was really boared with the kids ages 2-3 so that didn't really work. She got frusterated that they id not understand the ideas she was attempting to explain to them. Here we also have a co-op preschool (not homeschool) just run by mom's. You might see if there is anything like that avilable. Ask our librarian if you haven't already done so. Maybe that is a way to get some more friends for him. Good luck

Maybe this would help your ds not feel so lonely? Any activities like this in your area?
Are you available during the day? Maybe you could host/sponsor a recurring activity.

Before I went back to to work full time I joined 3 other families and created a co-op. My ds went from 18 to 24 months and it was really great for him.

Anything in a neighoring town that wouldn't be too much of a hardship to drive to?

I see there's a lot of new threads to read, so I'll try and be brief wrapping this one up. We've decided that we'll accept the preschool offer as it is - if it's not a good fit for DS, we will pull him out. I'll still follow up with Psych to see if she has anything to add to the discussion, one way or the other.

The big decision that has really come from all of this is that I'm going to try and set up some sort of activity group. I figure once my children have their tonsils/adenoids out next month, we'll have less doctors to see and more free time to try and make this work. I'll put a notice up in town and take it from there. It's a little out of my comfort zone but we're already doing fun stuff here at home (we're making an erupting volcano at the moment) - there'd have to be at least a few kids in town that would find that interesting, you'd think. Anyway, we'll see how it goes. Wish us luck and thanks for all the input.

PS. DH did ask the other fathers at his work about their children's schooling - Most didn't know anything about it and 3 men couldn't remember their kid's birthdate - month or year! Mother's at the grocery store are no doubt a more reliable source of info on this topic

Hi again, TMJ! I think you've come up with a good solution for now of trying out the preschool in the class they've offerred while also setting up an activity group of your own. What about trying to schedule it with the kids who are technically his age but will be in the older group at the preschool, so that he will have time to play with these kids more? Just because he's not in their actual preschool class doesn't mean he can't play with them after school. Also, I forget what your original post said, but can't you just send him to K after one year of preschool even if the preschool doesn't recommend it since he does make the cutoff? If the elementary school is skeptical at first, they will surely see soon enough that it is the right move for him.

Good luck getting your activity group started -- and with the T&A surguries next month!