I had a lot of worries about private school that I had to overcome before I could imagine sending DS10 to one. I think it must be very difficult for a Public School teacher to make school decisions for their children. I know people who worked in resturants, who won't eat in them.
As for the negativity,
1 - it's the only way some people have of making contact at all. Kind of like the boy in 7th grade who took my hat because he "liked" me. ((shrug-puzzled face))
Last year DS was getting teased on the bus, by a kid who had just discovered the "Your so _____ , that ______" stem. While brainstorming on it, I got us both laughting -- wishing that it were possible to retort: "Your so akward socially, that this is your idea of making friends!" Of course it isn't, but it's hard see the teasing in the same light once you have had a good mental laugh over it.
2 - there is this quality called "extroversion" where the mind doesn't work unless the mouth (or fingers in my case) are moving. If this is not your style, you may tend to assume that what you are hearing is their "fully developed positon paper." Most likely it's more of a side effect of the wheels turning in there.
3 - a lot of negativity is an attempt to engage you to help the person get over a place where they are stuck. If you choose, you can "translate" the negativity into an invitation for you to ask "somewhat obnoxious" questions, like - "How long have you had this feeling?"
4 - maybe she's evil and you should pray for her - from a distance. ((wink))
I basically find people interesting, and if I have to be a bit rude back to someone whoes standard way of operating is rude to begin with, to get to the soft pretty candy inside, I find it well worth it. If you don't share this particular quality, that's fine. We are all unique.
