Okay, there is a teacher I know that in the past always had negative comments when I mentioned we were planning on homeschooling our kids - and if we just couldn't do that they would be in private school only, no public school.
She would rant and rave about how silly that was.

WELL - wouldn't you know. She has finally admitted that she will NOT be sending her daughter to public school this year, but is searching for a private school. Mind you, her daughter would have gone to the public school SHE teaches at. She said she does NOT want her daughter in that environment (even though she has NOTHING against public school, blah, blah, blah).

Okay, if the school isn't good enough for YOUR child, why would you make such bad comments when I choose something different for my child.

She has another younger child which she also admitted will NOT be attending public school. I have to say of the public school teachers that I know with school age children, not ONE of the sends their children to public school.

She also doesn't believe in "gifted", but that is another issue.

I had a lot of worries about private school that I had to overcome before I could imagine sending DS10 to one. I think it must be very difficult for a Public School teacher to make school decisions for their children. I know people who worked in resturants, who won't eat in them.

As for the negativity,
1 - it's the only way some people have of making contact at all. Kind of like the boy in 7th grade who took my hat because he "liked" me. ((shrug-puzzled face))

Last year DS was getting teased on the bus, by a kid who had just discovered the "Your so _____ , that ______" stem. While brainstorming on it, I got us both laughting -- wishing that it were possible to retort: "Your so akward socially, that this is your idea of making friends!" Of course it isn't, but it's hard see the teasing in the same light once you have had a good mental laugh over it.

2 - there is this quality called "extroversion" where the mind doesn't work unless the mouth (or fingers in my case) are moving. If this is not your style, you may tend to assume that what you are hearing is their "fully developed positon paper." Most likely it's more of a side effect of the wheels turning in there.

3 - a lot of negativity is an attempt to engage you to help the person get over a place where they are stuck. If you choose, you can "translate" the negativity into an invitation for you to ask "somewhat obnoxious" questions, like - "How long have you had this feeling?"

4 - maybe she's evil and you should pray for her - from a distance. ((wink))

I basically find people interesting, and if I have to be a bit rude back to someone whoes standard way of operating is rude to begin with, to get to the soft pretty candy inside, I find it well worth it. If you don't share this particular quality, that's fine. We are all unique.