Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school new to the forum and need help

Welcome!

Your son sounds similar to my DD. She is 26 months and a very fluent reader. She can read most level 1 and 2 books without help, although she does sometimes need to ask what a word says. She is also a great talker and outgoing... all this means that there is no hiding "how she is" when we are out in public. She reads signs at the store, readings numbers and prices, etc. I know "the look" very well. Fortunately, she is tall for her age so she looks a bit older than she really is. Even so, she can easily become a spectacle, as much as I try to be low profile.

As far as preschools and IQ testing -- I think a lot depends on the personality of your child. My DD seems to enjoy everyone, and she loves babies. She she doesn't care that none of her friends can talk in long sentences or read or engage at the level of imaginative play that she does. She seems to be very adaptable and does fine in any environment. I'm not worried about academics at this age, she soaks up plenty of stuff on her own. I just want her to have fun and make friends.

My DS, who is also highly gifted, is a totally different child. He had no interested in other kids (except for much older kids) and preferred the company of adults. We have yet to find a preschool that can really "handle" him has he is extremely self-directed and independent - which is a nice way of saying that he has trouble following rules. He's starting a gifted pre-K in the fall but we aren't sure how that is going to work out. (He's three, by the way, almost four.)

This message board is the only place I talk openly about my kids. I learned quickly that friends (and even a lot of family) didn't want to know that our 8 month old baby was counting to 10 forwards and backwards. Seriously. I even stopped blogging because as much as I tried to hid things, it was hard to share even simple family stories while totally hiding the fact that my kids are so different than most. It can be exhausting trying to "cover up" for them, and not a healthy practice anyway.

So, I can say that I've become much more isolated.

I don't know if you are open to letting your kid play on the computer, but my daughter really loves it. She navigates it on her own (we bought a small-sized mouse that is easy for her to use). She likes to play games on PBSkids.org. Your son may really enjoy it too - it'll feed his word/number addiction and give you some time to take a break!

Anyway, that was just my long winded welcome. I'm always thrilled to see parents of very advanced toddlers here.

Thanks for the post, CCN--LOL!! Our DD (now 8) wasn't quite that assertive or as early of a reader, but there are still times I want to go hide somewhere for a break from all the questions and arguments (oops--'discussions'). Fortunately DH and I trade off more now than we did when she was little, or I would definitely have lost my mind.

Well, this may be true of many daycares, but not all, so don't give up unless you've already visited all the options open to you. My DS (also a fluent reader at 2) was very happy at nursery (daycare) from 10 months until he went to school. It probably helped that the nursery in question was attached to a university; they were used to - unusual :-) - children, and there were a lot of them in the peer group. However, a lot of what they did could be done anywhere. Lots of outdoor play. Lots of construction toys and crafts. Lots of freedom for children to choose what they were interested in. A frequently changed collection of books, and nobody minding whether children were looking at them or reading them. Practically no academic work. Opportunities for different age groups to mix. My DS got a huge amount out of it, and I'm very glad we sent him. So I just want to encourage you not to assume you won't find something suitable!

Thanks for the encouragement on the daycare situation ColinsMum. My son is pretty happy with his current daycare but he does hang around the adults most of the time and they have told me they are trying to get him to socialize with his peers more. He has no interest in other 2 year olds but thankfully its ages 2-5 all in one room so he'll play with some of the 4 and 5 year olds.

Sweetpeas, I am feeling very socially isolated with my son now also. I use to be part of mom groups and we would all meet up with our children and play. Ever since moms have seen that my son is counting, spelling and doing sign language, many of them are acting funny.
I haven't been to any get togethers in a long time because I feel like I can't talk openly about my son. They talk about their children and I feel really out of the loop. It is very lonely.

I am actually going to a little get together with some moms in the first time in months tomorrow and I get the feeling many of them don't want me coming and bringing my gifted child because it makes them feel inadequate about theirs. I try and compliment their children as much as possible but I don't know if it's really helping. It is so frusterating.

I do let my son get his number and letter fix on the computer. He'll sit and type for hours on MS Word or watch educational videos that he likes with lots of numbers and letters.

It is so nice to know that moms here understand. Thanks for the warm welcomes

I just found this thread, and I'm so glad I did. I feel increasingly more isolated as the days go by. Tonight at the playground another mom said pretty mean things about me because my fifteen month old was reading the letters and numbers on the back of her shirt.

I hate not being able to talk about his accomplishments with other moms while I'm expected to listen to what their kids are doing.

Oh my, all this brings back such a flood of memories. I just sent my eldest DS off to college this fall, just finished going through the whole list of issues. For most, as time goes on it gets better!

One of the biggest things that seemed to change the perspective of a lot of people concerning our eldest DS was that we've always taught him that God gives each person blessings and we should be using those blessings to help others. Eldest DS took that to heart, started mentoring / tutoring students who were having trouble at the start of his Freshman year in HS. Not only were others very appreciative of his efforts and saw him in a new light but DS developed a lot of empathy and indeed did see how blessed he is.

That's really good to hear!

The older they get, the more they find their peer group. One of the first big natural sorting processes seems to be when they start band (in my area in 5th grade) the kids seem to find a few more kids they relate to. Along with that comes band parents, more of who understand and relate to your child and raising such children.

Other activities that help both kids and parents find their peer group for us have included:

ELP / GT classes
STEM Club
The local gaming store
Wings Classes (We live within driving distance of Belin-Blank)
National Honor Society
Science National Honor Society

I'll add "the local library" to that list, as well. A good one often has programs for elementary students and teens as well as the early literacy programs aimed at preschoolers and infants. Ours has been a terrific resource at times.

If you have a local university/college, activities sponsored by the institution may well concentrate faculty kids (local peers), and at least draw in kids whose parents are actively looking for enrichment with the local uni/college.

People with terminal degrees tend to have GT kids; this makes complete sense when you think about it.

Anyway, that is another place to find a better, higher-skewing mix of peers.