Hi everyone! I am new to the forum and was wondering if it is possible to iq test a 2 1/2 year old. My son appears to be gifted and I wanted to know where he falls so I can try and find the right programs for him.

Thanks so much..any help is much appreciated.


Asha

Have a search here (searching using google and site:davidsongifted.org works better than using the built-in search) as this is a FAQ. Short answer: there are people who will take your money, but it isn't a useful thing to do. You know your child, and this means you have the best knowledge you can have at the moment to find the right programmes for him. IQ testing won't give you new options. You may possibly find that one of your options will require IQ testing for you to take it up, but they won't be interested in an IQ test done on a 2.5yo anyway. And welcome!

Hi Asha
Welcome. You are not alone in noticing that your toddler is 'not like the others' but this age many of the moms here have learned to button their lips when getting together to chat politely with the neighbor moms. I have met a lot of mon who decided that motherhood must have changed then into shy untalkative people when really it was the subtle looks that shut them up.

So I wish that their was such a thing as an IQ test for a 2.5 year old that was both accurate and respected. I further wish that there were programs availible to slot kids into by ability.

I think the closest you will get is Talent Ignighter Website. If you can find a preschool program that is only for gifted kids, then they will probably have a particular way to test that they prefer, I'd go with that.

It's really heartbreaking to send your kid to preschool with a bunch of agemates that can't talk to your kid or understand the kind of games your child wants to play, so I totally understand your worry and concern.

Visit various programs, see what the kids do, see how the teachers treat them, see what's on the book shelf. Especially as the mom of a girl, you want to be extra careful that whatever environment you place her in will be sending the message: 'We like that you are strong of mind. We respect you.'

Sometimes the best sort of preschool is the 'one room schoolhouse' sort of set up, perhaps a home daycare with older kids in a playbased setting. The worst is the kind were kids sit in circle for hours being force-fed 'Apple starts with A' over and over.

Keep posting and let us know what's on your mind. I'm just guessing here!
Love and More Love,
Grinity

I agree with previous posters. Don't think so much about testing at this age, but rather about providing stimulating experiences. If he's reading, make sure to provide plenty of interesting things at an appropriate challenge level. If he's interested in math, get him some manipulatives and appropriate games and toys. Take him to museums, etc. If you can find a preschool that will provide appropriate stimulation and isn't afraid to place him with older children, it might be a godsend, but you might have to be content with just socialization for now on that front.

Thank you so much for your replies. I feel much better knowing that I am not alone. There really needs to be more programs for gifted children.

It is so true that it is best to keep a lid on what your gifted child can do. This is hard for me because my son doesn't realize that when he goes around everywhere counting, spelling, and doing sign language, other parents are not happy about how advanced he is. I don't go around bragging but he brings attention to himself and them women I thought were my friends are now acting funny. They give me funny looks and don't conversate with me like they use to. I know they are comparing my son to their children. I can't help that he is gifted. Of course I am happy but I'm just a mom and want the best for my child like any other parent. Really all children have gifts and talents. I don't think parents should be comparing there children so much to what others are doing.

I really would like to find other moms whose child is doing similar things. My son is obsessed with numbers and letters and has been since about 14 months. He says his ABC's forwards and backwards, says the phonics sounds and is reading and spelling at an early level. He also is really into sign language and taught himself the sign language alphabet. He likes to hear and do everything in the spanish version too. This really isnt bragging. Maybe it sounds like it but I feel like I can't find any other playmates for my son that want to sit and spell and count and sign words all day. He is already socially outcast at his daycare. I just worry that eventually he will start underperforming once he realizes that his peers don't think what he's doing is cool.

Best of luck to all of you with gifted children. I know no one feels sorry for us but it comes with its own set of struggles.

We're your people.

LOL. In all seriousness, this is where I can be completely forthcoming about the odd things that my child does and know that I am not causing other parents to feel threatended or insecure.

It's just about the only such place, too. I have two other friends/acquaintances in my 'real' life that are in this category, and both of them have MG children of their own, and have known my DD for many years.

I've thought of starting a 'Chapter Book for Toddlers' book club at the library, or taking out an add in the local newspaper!

More seriously, your state Gifted Association may have programs for Parents/kids. Also rub elbows with the local homeschoolers. Some are motivated by religious reasons, but others have advanced kids that they don't want to subject to B&M schools. They may not use the label gifted, but if they don't flinch at your kid, that is plenty fine.

Or call the local IQ tester and see if they know how High IQ kids meet up in your geographical area.

Smiles,
Grinity

Thanks so much for all of your input. I have got so discouraged. It seems like no matter where I look there is no real help anywhere. I think the whole marketing thing on this baby/toddler genius has got so out of control that when truly gifted kids come along people just think its parents trying to make their kids gifted. I honestly can't say what is for sure going on with my son but I'm just going to take him to his pediatrician and discuss it with him. Hopefully he can point me in a direction where I can get some answers.

In case you haven't yet, you can also search the archived posts for useful information. It's amazing how the same questions come up over and over again, and so nice to have a place (here) where you can talk about it.

Our DD8 wasn't doing things quite as early as your son but was an early reader and all we did for quite awhile was just be sure to read to her a lot (until she could read herself, and wanted to read alone) and keep a lot of books around--including the 'next level' books (you know, the ones they will start reading next--like early reader chapter books for your son), and books in any area for which they have expressed some kind of interest.

For schools, our DD has had some wonderful luck and some awful luck with Montessori schools, depending entirely on the particular teacher. If your kid is at all unusual, you should try to find a teacher who is okay with that rather than considering it a pain in the neck or it is unlikely to go well for your son.

Good luck with your pediatrician, but be prepared to be gazed at blankly, or knowingly (ah, another one of 'those' parents). I actually never broached this subject with any of our pediatricians because it just seemed like it would be a waste of time. But it's worth a shot--it would be great if more pediatricians (and teachers for that matter) were aware of gifted issues, and your bringing it up may be helpful in educating them.

Best wishes,
Dbat

Oh yeah! That's why I find the idea of 'levels of gifted' so appealing. The shape of the bell curve predicts that their will be an army of parents in the 120-127 range who are consumers of the 'make your baby smarter' stuff compared to the much much smaller numbers on the other side of any cut off you pick.

I think the pediatrician can be a great idea - but some are dismal.

To me, if your friends are looking at you with those strange expressions than you know all you need to know - you kids is unusual enough that schools where your friend's kids are recognized as 'bright' will be 'not a good fit' for your child. How your child handles being in that situation depends a lot on your ability to 'super-parent' and your child's personality.

Seek out local gifted social outlets and see if the parents there get your jokes.

It is possible to win, but the deck isn't stacked in your favor. I'm hoping this Discussion Forum can take the place, to a certain degree, of the 'local parent network' that just isn't that useful when you are raising an outlier.

I'm not saying that you kid is the smartest baby that ever lived, just that 'around where you hang out' he's beyond the comfort zone. We see this.

Sigh,
Grinity

My son did the ABC thing too. He would sign while singing them backwards or forwards equally as fast. He was hyper focused on anything to do with reading or language. Keeping his abilities on the low down wasn't even remotely close to possible. He would read anything and everything everywhere. People would constantly either stop and look at him like he was a circus act or give me the "look" as I must be tormenting him at home with flash cards. As if you can get an average 2 year old to read a menu or magazine.

He moved on to hyper focusing on Bugs, then Marine life, then Space, etc! I have always tried to indulge his latest interest within reason. He moves on to a new one at some point. Your DS sounds a lot like mine was at that age. He had no real peers just a bunch of age mates. Does it bother your son to not play with other kids? My Ds didn't care about playing with his age mates. He started connecting with other kids around 8 and has a great social life now at 12. He still will describe only a few friends "get" him. He would rather have a deep relationship with someone than a shallow one with many. He will downplay his achievements in front of his friends at times, but he hasn't gone so far as to underachieve.

The moms can be hard to deal with. Forums like this are an amazing outlet for connecting with parents that get it. Here you are NOT bragging about his abilities! You are sharing your pride in your son in an environment that it is accepted to do so. I have 2 close friends with GT kids, but still considerably lower LOG than mine. I don't share every last deal with them, but know a great deal my DS in particular. They have been nothing but supportive. They understand GT in kids. If you can find one or two friends that "get it", it will be a high relief for you.

Thanks Grinity and everyone else for your replies. This is a really great place to share information about our gifted children and I am so glad I found it. I am going to go to my son's pediatrican on Tuesday as far as what do to. I just want whats best for him.
Grinity, you are so right about where I hang out being beyond the comfort zone for other parents. I am so frusterated with this because I just wanted my son to be normal. I have never fit in well socially and it scares me to see him doing what he's doing and the reaction it gets from others. I'm thinking maybe he will be socially outcast too. I don't think I am gifted by any means, probably just weird. My son does have behaviors which are concerning. I know he is smart but he's not fitting in and the impact of being socially rejected can be really bad.

I need to stop worry. I hope all of you have a great 4rth of July.

Let's talk about those daycare problems. Maybe we can brainstorm some things to try or maybe it is time to get professional help.

What is going on there? What have you tried? What hasn't worked so far?

I also hoped that my chiild would be more normal than I was and wouldn't have to suffer the way I did. No luck. I think he suffered more. I helped him a lot but he, being a boy, wasn't willing to suffer meekly. He suffered openly and make those arround him miserable to. He taught me that he has a natural human right to learn new stiff at school. I had had no idea. As a femalle I was willing to just blame myself forr needing stuff I wasn't getting. Social skills are learnable and I trained myself so people could like me but that didn't solve my longing for being around peope I enjoyed.

Some people journal some do therapy some call old friends some post but do whatever you do to master your past so it is availible for helpful information and inspiration but doesn't limit you to the beauty of the present and the rich field of possibilities. If you can't dig up old test scores or SAT schedule an IQ test for yourself! It is highly unlikely that you are just weird. You may be just Gifted or perhaps 2e.

Love and more love
Grinity

Being a parent of a gifted child is a fun, exciting, amazing, Sometimes shocking job but its also a scary, frustrating, lonely, more difficult, confusing, and sometimes tearfull job.

Most gifted children are asynchronous so while he is 2yrs old he may be reading like a 6yr old, doing math like a 4-5yr old, have the emotions of a 2yr old, but the attention span of a 4yr old, the hand eye cordination of a 3yr old, and so on and so forth. The best thing you can do is try your best to not strictly treat him like he is one specific age. He needs you to treat him emotionaly like a little baby boy because one moment your child may be playing with a shape sorter and say "sshhh.. Im trying to concentrate" (my daughter at almost 2yrs old) but the next minute they may scream and cry because they cant have a cookie before lunch or fall and scrape a knee and need you to know they are still a baby.

The best thing you can do is learn about him and try to understand him as best you can because he is going to need someone hwho understands and doesnt treat him like he is different or special but that he is just him i used to always say of my daughter "she doesnt know she is ______(insert age her)"

As well i dont even bother with same aged groups anymore. Let him play with 4-5 yr olds if he needs to because you probably wont find a lot of 2yr olds who interest him.
As well as you already know its really a bad idea to tell others even some family members what your child can do or has done. No matter how you word it they will think you are bragging or trying to make them feel bad.
I can only tell my mom and my best friend about the funny cute things my kids do. Even my own sister decided i was trying to make her feel bad by telling her about my kids. I tryed several different aproaches with my sister even explained my frustrations but she still doesnt see it from my side and would rather think im bragging or "to focused on my kids being smart". So i keep my mouth zipped up tight unless im with the couple people who understand.

Your DS dounds a lot like my DS at 2...he had a vety strong ability to understand visual symbols: letters, numbers, words, street signs, store signs, product logos. He had a very hard time with same age peers (especially when he was around 3-4 years old). His friends (er, my friends' kids) wanted to dress up like superheroes, but my son HATED to, even though he wanted to play with them. We finally found a Spiderman costume he would wear to get togethers...usually 20 minutes into the get-together he was off by himself doing puzzles. But it made him feel good to fit in. At 5.75 years, DS is much more confident and happy socially. I try to help him find a few 'typical' things to have in common with his peers since most of his friends (um, none) want to spend hours looking at a globe or doing science experiments.

Enjoy the ride of a voracious learner, and prepare to be blown away!

Yes!! I know. This makes me *^%* c.r.a.z.y. I happened to get into a conversation with a mom once about my DD's early milestones and she commented that she had let her own daughter have "a normal childhood without flash cards or drills."

??? !!!! (Are you KIDDING me?)

I never once tried to teach my daughter anything that she didn't obsessively seek first. I still remember her "furniture walking" at 10 months, chasing after me, one hand on the wall, the other clutching a book. She had me so worn out that I would literally try and escape to the bathroom. "Go see Daddy!" She'd sit and wait, and pound on the door. When I'd emerge, she'd hold up the book and look at me with these intense, old soul eyes.

Flash cards my A**.

Yeah, I wanted to let my daughter have that (probably mythical) "normal" childhood, too. But it didn't work, as much as we (initially) tried to force normalcy upon her.

In fact, I was so determined to do things this way, particularly after getting some "advice" from well-meaning family about preventing school problems created by having an early reader (!!).... so we, um... basically did what we could do prevent my child from learning to read... keeping her from educational television with any phonics instruction as much as we could, not buying any early readers or allowing her to check them out at the library, etc.

Yeah. My kid finally started teaching herself to read using whole language methods ANYWAY at age 3 (apparently after she gave up asking us to teach her), and we finally gave in because it seemed the lesser of evils (often whole-language learners have problems with later decoding or spelling, so phonemic awareness is a better strategy for the longer-term).

Yeah. If my then-barely-4yo wasn't 'ready' then I don't know what was. It was like applying a match to a massive beacon pyre. She was reading early chapter books within a month or two, and before six months was up, she was reading silently, fluently, and whatever she could get her hands on. She read Magic Tree House books at the rate of four or five a DAY. Before a year was up, she was reading Harry Potter on the sly, having helped herself to it on the bookshelf.

Truly, parents that say things like that have no clue. Reading "instruction?" Oh, sure. Yes, if I am entirely forthcoming, yes. We taught her. We spent a little over two weeks, in fact. Seriously. I have proof in the form of the little set of books that we used. I wrote dates in them.

Welcome. For my DD2.75 I realized she needed to be in a different environment from her current adult led, single age group day care. Which is not a knock on the day care, it is a great environment for most, and was for her too, up until earlier this year when she just shot beyond her peers (for example, she told us early in the year the other kids don't understand what she says to them). I too was wondering what to do, and after looking around this spring, we are hanging on for her to move to a Montessori in a few weeks time (end of August) where she'll be in with kids 3-6 yrs old.

Our very verbal has most of her book collection memorized, makes up her own stories, songs, and rhymes, and always asks what written words say, but I do not think she's reading yet. If nothing else, being on this board has given me a lot of perspective on conventional schooling and how it may or may not fit with our kids long term. Hopefully this Montessori is a positive near term option for her.

I can tell that all of you really do understand what it is like to have a gifted child. I started crying reading your posts because the comments made about a 2 year old reading like a 6 year old and doing math like a 4-5 year old, but still being a baby in so many ways really hit home for me. My son throws 2 year old temper tantrums like any other toddler and is still in diapers. He is gifted in areas dealing with numbers and letters and advanced his communications. It is so important to remember that gifted children are still little kids and not super human. It is so nice to have other parents understand for once what it like having a child that is ranging from ages 2 to 6 in development depending on what we are talking about.
I don't think daycares are set up to deal with gifted children and they treat each kid like a number. They set up for children with disabilities so I think they need to open their eyes to the needs of gifted children also.

@CNN, I am not sure how to quote what I am responding to on your post but I can relate to what you are saying about how pople assume you are forcing your daughter to learn with flashcards etc.

It isn't right for them to automatically assume that you are taking away your kids childhood and forcing them to learn these things all day.

I have had the same experience with my son. I gave him a couple of alphabet and numbers toys at 1 like any other parent and the interest consumed him from there. He spends most of every day studying numbers and letters and finds a way to do this no matter what we are doing. If we are at the store he is calling out isle numbers and reading off products. Quite honestly I am so tired of letters and numbers all day. I wish he was interested in other things sometimes.

Welcome!

Your son sounds similar to my DD. She is 26 months and a very fluent reader. She can read most level 1 and 2 books without help, although she does sometimes need to ask what a word says. She is also a great talker and outgoing... all this means that there is no hiding "how she is" when we are out in public. She reads signs at the store, readings numbers and prices, etc. I know "the look" very well. Fortunately, she is tall for her age so she looks a bit older than she really is. Even so, she can easily become a spectacle, as much as I try to be low profile.

As far as preschools and IQ testing -- I think a lot depends on the personality of your child. My DD seems to enjoy everyone, and she loves babies. She she doesn't care that none of her friends can talk in long sentences or read or engage at the level of imaginative play that she does. She seems to be very adaptable and does fine in any environment. I'm not worried about academics at this age, she soaks up plenty of stuff on her own. I just want her to have fun and make friends.

My DS, who is also highly gifted, is a totally different child. He had no interested in other kids (except for much older kids) and preferred the company of adults. We have yet to find a preschool that can really "handle" him has he is extremely self-directed and independent - which is a nice way of saying that he has trouble following rules. He's starting a gifted pre-K in the fall but we aren't sure how that is going to work out. (He's three, by the way, almost four.)

This message board is the only place I talk openly about my kids. I learned quickly that friends (and even a lot of family) didn't want to know that our 8 month old baby was counting to 10 forwards and backwards. Seriously. I even stopped blogging because as much as I tried to hid things, it was hard to share even simple family stories while totally hiding the fact that my kids are so different than most. It can be exhausting trying to "cover up" for them, and not a healthy practice anyway.

So, I can say that I've become much more isolated.

I don't know if you are open to letting your kid play on the computer, but my daughter really loves it. She navigates it on her own (we bought a small-sized mouse that is easy for her to use). She likes to play games on PBSkids.org. Your son may really enjoy it too - it'll feed his word/number addiction and give you some time to take a break!

Anyway, that was just my long winded welcome. I'm always thrilled to see parents of very advanced toddlers here.

Thanks for the post, CCN--LOL!! Our DD (now 8) wasn't quite that assertive or as early of a reader, but there are still times I want to go hide somewhere for a break from all the questions and arguments (oops--'discussions'). Fortunately DH and I trade off more now than we did when she was little, or I would definitely have lost my mind.

Well, this may be true of many daycares, but not all, so don't give up unless you've already visited all the options open to you. My DS (also a fluent reader at 2) was very happy at nursery (daycare) from 10 months until he went to school. It probably helped that the nursery in question was attached to a university; they were used to - unusual :-) - children, and there were a lot of them in the peer group. However, a lot of what they did could be done anywhere. Lots of outdoor play. Lots of construction toys and crafts. Lots of freedom for children to choose what they were interested in. A frequently changed collection of books, and nobody minding whether children were looking at them or reading them. Practically no academic work. Opportunities for different age groups to mix. My DS got a huge amount out of it, and I'm very glad we sent him. So I just want to encourage you not to assume you won't find something suitable!

Thanks for the encouragement on the daycare situation ColinsMum. My son is pretty happy with his current daycare but he does hang around the adults most of the time and they have told me they are trying to get him to socialize with his peers more. He has no interest in other 2 year olds but thankfully its ages 2-5 all in one room so he'll play with some of the 4 and 5 year olds.

Sweetpeas, I am feeling very socially isolated with my son now also. I use to be part of mom groups and we would all meet up with our children and play. Ever since moms have seen that my son is counting, spelling and doing sign language, many of them are acting funny.
I haven't been to any get togethers in a long time because I feel like I can't talk openly about my son. They talk about their children and I feel really out of the loop. It is very lonely.

I am actually going to a little get together with some moms in the first time in months tomorrow and I get the feeling many of them don't want me coming and bringing my gifted child because it makes them feel inadequate about theirs. I try and compliment their children as much as possible but I don't know if it's really helping. It is so frusterating.

I do let my son get his number and letter fix on the computer. He'll sit and type for hours on MS Word or watch educational videos that he likes with lots of numbers and letters.

It is so nice to know that moms here understand. Thanks for the warm welcomes

I just found this thread, and I'm so glad I did. I feel increasingly more isolated as the days go by. Tonight at the playground another mom said pretty mean things about me because my fifteen month old was reading the letters and numbers on the back of her shirt.

I hate not being able to talk about his accomplishments with other moms while I'm expected to listen to what their kids are doing.

Oh my, all this brings back such a flood of memories. I just sent my eldest DS off to college this fall, just finished going through the whole list of issues. For most, as time goes on it gets better!

One of the biggest things that seemed to change the perspective of a lot of people concerning our eldest DS was that we've always taught him that God gives each person blessings and we should be using those blessings to help others. Eldest DS took that to heart, started mentoring / tutoring students who were having trouble at the start of his Freshman year in HS. Not only were others very appreciative of his efforts and saw him in a new light but DS developed a lot of empathy and indeed did see how blessed he is.

That's really good to hear!

The older they get, the more they find their peer group. One of the first big natural sorting processes seems to be when they start band (in my area in 5th grade) the kids seem to find a few more kids they relate to. Along with that comes band parents, more of who understand and relate to your child and raising such children.

Other activities that help both kids and parents find their peer group for us have included:

ELP / GT classes
STEM Club
The local gaming store
Wings Classes (We live within driving distance of Belin-Blank)
National Honor Society
Science National Honor Society

I'll add "the local library" to that list, as well. A good one often has programs for elementary students and teens as well as the early literacy programs aimed at preschoolers and infants. Ours has been a terrific resource at times.

If you have a local university/college, activities sponsored by the institution may well concentrate faculty kids (local peers), and at least draw in kids whose parents are actively looking for enrichment with the local uni/college.

People with terminal degrees tend to have GT kids; this makes complete sense when you think about it.

Anyway, that is another place to find a better, higher-skewing mix of peers.