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    Joined: Apr 2011
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    Originally Posted by Isaiah09
    My son is obsessed with numbers and letters and has been since about 14 months. He says his ABC's forwards and backwards, says the phonics sounds and is reading and spelling at an early level. He also is really into sign language and taught himself the sign language alphabet. He likes to hear and do everything in the spanish version too. This really isnt bragging. Maybe it sounds like it but I feel like I can't find any other playmates for my son that want to sit and spell and count and sign words all day. He is already socially outcast at his daycare. I just worry that eventually he will start underperforming once he realizes that his peers don't think what he's doing is cool.

    My son did the ABC thing too. He would sign while singing them backwards or forwards equally as fast. He was hyper focused on anything to do with reading or language. Keeping his abilities on the low down wasn't even remotely close to possible. He would read anything and everything everywhere. People would constantly either stop and look at him like he was a circus act or give me the "look" as I must be tormenting him at home with flash cards. As if you can get an average 2 year old to read a menu or magazine.

    He moved on to hyper focusing on Bugs, then Marine life, then Space, etc! I have always tried to indulge his latest interest within reason. He moves on to a new one at some point. Your DS sounds a lot like mine was at that age. He had no real peers just a bunch of age mates. Does it bother your son to not play with other kids? My Ds didn't care about playing with his age mates. He started connecting with other kids around 8 and has a great social life now at 12. He still will describe only a few friends "get" him. He would rather have a deep relationship with someone than a shallow one with many. He will downplay his achievements in front of his friends at times, but he hasn't gone so far as to underachieve.

    The moms can be hard to deal with. Forums like this are an amazing outlet for connecting with parents that get it. Here you are NOT bragging about his abilities! You are sharing your pride in your son in an environment that it is accepted to do so. I have 2 close friends with GT kids, but still considerably lower LOG than mine. I don't share every last deal with them, but know a great deal my DS in particular. They have been nothing but supportive. They understand GT in kids. If you can find one or two friends that "get it", it will be a high relief for you.

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    Thanks Grinity and everyone else for your replies. This is a really great place to share information about our gifted children and I am so glad I found it. I am going to go to my son's pediatrican on Tuesday as far as what do to. I just want whats best for him.
    Grinity, you are so right about where I hang out being beyond the comfort zone for other parents. I am so frusterated with this because I just wanted my son to be normal. I have never fit in well socially and it scares me to see him doing what he's doing and the reaction it gets from others. I'm thinking maybe he will be socially outcast too. I don't think I am gifted by any means, probably just weird. My son does have behaviors which are concerning. I know he is smart but he's not fitting in and the impact of being socially rejected can be really bad.

    I need to stop worry. I hope all of you have a great 4rth of July.

    Last edited by Isaiah09; 06/30/12 11:53 PM.
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    Let's talk about those daycare problems. Maybe we can brainstorm some things to try or maybe it is time to get professional help.

    What is going on there? What have you tried? What hasn't worked so far?

    I also hoped that my chiild would be more normal than I was and wouldn't have to suffer the way I did. No luck. I think he suffered more. I helped him a lot but he, being a boy, wasn't willing to suffer meekly. He suffered openly and make those arround him miserable to. He taught me that he has a natural human right to learn new stiff at school. I had had no idea. As a femalle I was willing to just blame myself forr needing stuff I wasn't getting. Social skills are learnable and I trained myself so people could like me but that didn't solve my longing for being around peope I enjoyed.

    Some people journal some do therapy some call old friends some post but do whatever you do to master your past so it is availible for helpful information and inspiration but doesn't limit you to the beauty of the present and the rich field of possibilities. If you can't dig up old test scores or SAT schedule an IQ test for yourself! It is highly unlikely that you are just weird. You may be just Gifted or perhaps 2e.

    Love and more love
    Grinity


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    Being a parent of a gifted child is a fun, exciting, amazing, Sometimes shocking job but its also a scary, frustrating, lonely, more difficult, confusing, and sometimes tearfull job.

    Most gifted children are asynchronous so while he is 2yrs old he may be reading like a 6yr old, doing math like a 4-5yr old, have the emotions of a 2yr old, but the attention span of a 4yr old, the hand eye cordination of a 3yr old, and so on and so forth. The best thing you can do is try your best to not strictly treat him like he is one specific age. He needs you to treat him emotionaly like a little baby boy because one moment your child may be playing with a shape sorter and say "sshhh.. Im trying to concentrate" (my daughter at almost 2yrs old) but the next minute they may scream and cry because they cant have a cookie before lunch or fall and scrape a knee and need you to know they are still a baby.

    The best thing you can do is learn about him and try to understand him as best you can because he is going to need someone hwho understands and doesnt treat him like he is different or special but that he is just him i used to always say of my daughter "she doesnt know she is ______(insert age her)"

    As well i dont even bother with same aged groups anymore. Let him play with 4-5 yr olds if he needs to because you probably wont find a lot of 2yr olds who interest him.
    As well as you already know its really a bad idea to tell others even some family members what your child can do or has done. No matter how you word it they will think you are bragging or trying to make them feel bad.
    I can only tell my mom and my best friend about the funny cute things my kids do. Even my own sister decided i was trying to make her feel bad by telling her about my kids. I tryed several different aproaches with my sister even explained my frustrations but she still doesnt see it from my side and would rather think im bragging or "to focused on my kids being smart". So i keep my mouth zipped up tight unless im with the couple people who understand.

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    Your DS dounds a lot like my DS at 2...he had a vety strong ability to understand visual symbols: letters, numbers, words, street signs, store signs, product logos. He had a very hard time with same age peers (especially when he was around 3-4 years old). His friends (er, my friends' kids) wanted to dress up like superheroes, but my son HATED to, even though he wanted to play with them. We finally found a Spiderman costume he would wear to get togethers...usually 20 minutes into the get-together he was off by himself doing puzzles. But it made him feel good to fit in. At 5.75 years, DS is much more confident and happy socially. I try to help him find a few 'typical' things to have in common with his peers since most of his friends (um, none) want to spend hours looking at a globe or doing science experiments.

    Enjoy the ride of a voracious learner, and prepare to be blown away!

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    Originally Posted by Isaiah09
    I think the whole marketing thing on this baby/toddler genius has got so out of control that when truly gifted kids come along people just think its parents trying to make their kids gifted.

    Yes!! I know. This makes me *^%* c.r.a.z.y. I happened to get into a conversation with a mom once about my DD's early milestones and she commented that she had let her own daughter have "a normal childhood without flash cards or drills."

    ??? !!!! (Are you KIDDING me?)

    I never once tried to teach my daughter anything that she didn't obsessively seek first. I still remember her "furniture walking" at 10 months, chasing after me, one hand on the wall, the other clutching a book. She had me so worn out that I would literally try and escape to the bathroom. "Go see Daddy!" She'd sit and wait, and pound on the door. When I'd emerge, she'd hold up the book and look at me with these intense, old soul eyes.

    Flash cards my A**.

    Last edited by CCN; 07/01/12 03:26 PM.
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    Yeah, I wanted to let my daughter have that (probably mythical) "normal" childhood, too. But it didn't work, as much as we (initially) tried to force normalcy upon her. grin

    In fact, I was so determined to do things this way, particularly after getting some "advice" from well-meaning family about preventing school problems created by having an early reader (!!).... so we, um... basically did what we could do prevent my child from learning to read... keeping her from educational television with any phonics instruction as much as we could, not buying any early readers or allowing her to check them out at the library, etc.

    Yeah. My kid finally started teaching herself to read using whole language methods ANYWAY at age 3 (apparently after she gave up asking us to teach her), and we finally gave in because it seemed the lesser of evils (often whole-language learners have problems with later decoding or spelling, so phonemic awareness is a better strategy for the longer-term).

    Yeah. If my then-barely-4yo wasn't 'ready' then I don't know what was. It was like applying a match to a massive beacon pyre. She was reading early chapter books within a month or two, and before six months was up, she was reading silently, fluently, and whatever she could get her hands on. She read Magic Tree House books at the rate of four or five a DAY. Before a year was up, she was reading Harry Potter on the sly, having helped herself to it on the bookshelf.

    Truly, parents that say things like that have no clue. Reading "instruction?" Oh, sure. Yes, if I am entirely forthcoming, yes. We taught her. We spent a little over two weeks, in fact. Seriously. I have proof in the form of the little set of books that we used. I wrote dates in them. smirk


    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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    Welcome. For my DD2.75 I realized she needed to be in a different environment from her current adult led, single age group day care. Which is not a knock on the day care, it is a great environment for most, and was for her too, up until earlier this year when she just shot beyond her peers (for example, she told us early in the year the other kids don't understand what she says to them). I too was wondering what to do, and after looking around this spring, we are hanging on for her to move to a Montessori in a few weeks time (end of August) where she'll be in with kids 3-6 yrs old.

    Our very verbal has most of her book collection memorized, makes up her own stories, songs, and rhymes, and always asks what written words say, but I do not think she's reading yet. If nothing else, being on this board has given me a lot of perspective on conventional schooling and how it may or may not fit with our kids long term. Hopefully this Montessori is a positive near term option for her.

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    I can tell that all of you really do understand what it is like to have a gifted child. I started crying reading your posts because the comments made about a 2 year old reading like a 6 year old and doing math like a 4-5 year old, but still being a baby in so many ways really hit home for me. My son throws 2 year old temper tantrums like any other toddler and is still in diapers. He is gifted in areas dealing with numbers and letters and advanced his communications. It is so important to remember that gifted children are still little kids and not super human. It is so nice to have other parents understand for once what it like having a child that is ranging from ages 2 to 6 in development depending on what we are talking about.
    I don't think daycares are set up to deal with gifted children and they treat each kid like a number. They set up for children with disabilities so I think they need to open their eyes to the needs of gifted children also.

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    @CNN, I am not sure how to quote what I am responding to on your post but I can relate to what you are saying about how pople assume you are forcing your daughter to learn with flashcards etc.

    It isn't right for them to automatically assume that you are taking away your kids childhood and forcing them to learn these things all day.

    I have had the same experience with my son. I gave him a couple of alphabet and numbers toys at 1 like any other parent and the interest consumed him from there. He spends most of every day studying numbers and letters and finds a way to do this no matter what we are doing. If we are at the store he is calling out isle numbers and reading off products. Quite honestly I am so tired of letters and numbers all day. I wish he was interested in other things sometimes.

    Last edited by Isaiah09; 07/02/12 07:26 AM.
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