Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Ever feel YOU aren't fulfilling your potential?

If it makes you feel any better, I had wanted to be an attorney since I was 8, yet I still hate it. In fact, the only attorneys I know who actually enjoy the practice of law are a**holes that I wouldn't want to ever actually spend time with. I can't imagine a more soul destroying profession out there.

island, I think you are facing the perfect storm, unfortunately. Young children are incredibly difficult for some people (my child didn't sleep on top of the normal difficult baby stuff), but that does get much better.

And I haven't really known anyone who found the intellectual stimulation they crave at work, unless they are very lucky. Even in many educated professions, you don't always find that many people who are intellectually curious enough to live anything more than a shalow life of glibness. Just keep that in mind, since it might not really be work that you are craving.

And it does get better.

What I'm basically doing right now is basically a form of social work (disability law). Mostly so I can avoid billing hours by doing contingency fee work.

I don't mind the part where I get to sue insurance companies for not paying the benefits they previously agreed to pay and then cut off the claimant because they wanted to save money. ERISA is so insurance-company friendly that you can lose pretty easily, though. We only get bench trials for them down here in the Fourth Circuit.

I decided in the spring of my Senior year that I didn't want to go to grad school. A BA in Psychology does not offer much in the way of rewarding career paths, particularly when it's the spring of your Senior year and you have absolutely no clue what sort of work you might like to do, or how to go about getting it.

I loved my college experience socially, but the "4 years and out" plan was not a good one for me in terms of figuring out what I wanted to do with my life and preparing me to do it.

I agree with the young kid comments. My husband is a SAHD while I work and Boo is a few months off from 2yo. He is unbelievably curious, fiercely independent, and an all-around adorable P.I.T.A. We adore him, but, man, it's exhausting raising him. And I can't tell you how many conversations have come about from my husband being almost completely unable to do anything that uses his intellect. My daughter, on the other hand is 12. It gets harder in some ways, but for us, a lot easier in others. Mostly because she can actually do things independently, not just *want* to do things independently.



This seems depressing to me. Sure, I'm not at full capacity - probably nowhere near full capacity, but I was hoping that at some point I could be. Well, darn.

i just stay zen-like and Lloyd Dobber about it all.


i'm 39 and still not sure what I am going to do when I grow up but I can't figure it all out this morning, I'm just gonna watch Fanboy & ChumChum with DD8 and get snuggly

IOA I think that so many of us have been there! I was a SAHM for 7 years, and in a lot of ways they were the most difficult of my life so far. Part of it was that I just felt so incredibly unproductive. I would see my husband work and accomplish things, and I was terribly jealous of him. I missed intelligent conversation so much and just felt lost. Of course, none of us moms should really feel that way while we're at home. We're doing an important job, it just doesn't feel like it to us while it's going on.

But it doesn't last forever! Or at least it doesn't have to, if you don't want it to. Last year, when my youngest hit all-day school in first grade, I went back to grad school full-time. I decided to become a high school math teacher, and right now I'm doing my semester of student teaching. It is really difficult...I'm having a lot of trouble balancing my workload and spending time with my family...but it gives me another purpose and a great sense of accomplishment.

BTW - I'm young too, and I never had that period of career success before quitting my job. I hated my old job (actuary) and knew that I wouldn't want to go back to it after the kids were in school. Now that I have a new plan, I can say that I am hopeful and excited about the rest of my life.

Here's my woulda, coulda, shoulda.

When my first child was born, 11 years ago, I left work. They offered me a great deal to work 3 days and still get benefits.

Now I wish I would stayed in my work at least part time, because after 11 years, I'm so out of date. I think if possible, even if I gave my whole paycheck to the baby sitter, I would have been better off, now if I go back to work, my pay will be so low. Even if things are good with a husbands work that can change. I just think I would of been better to keep in the job market for more security. From what I've read, if you can go back before 5 years out of work, it's better.

My son was very high maintance baby and I felt overwhelmed and that was all I could handle.

I think it can be good for children to see a Mom working hard at something and balancing her life, which could include housekeepers and babysitters.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against stay at home Moms. As my faimily is stuggling now, I just relect on this as something to help others. I'm also thinking ahead to the kids college.

What a great topic!

Honestly I could see that so many of the moms around me were feeling this same thing. I was in shock, because spending time with baby DS I felt freer to have intelligent conversations than anytime since college. To me, getting big ideas down into simple words and metaphors was the most interesting challenge I'd ever met. Up until that point I was working hard to 'fit in' with others and in a fairly heterogeneous environment where the ones who were smarter than me were pretty much only interested in their own narrow areas. Even before DS could talk much, he could nod his head, or signal me by focusing his eyes or letting his attention wander. We'd have plenty of interesting conversations 'call and response' style. And a good thing because once he could talk, he wanted to do most of the talking! I wonder if he learned that from me?!?

But I think that I'm gifted in a very particular way, that makes reading between the lines my funnest thing. I know lots of people who seem more gifted and much for focused. I think you could have 2 PGers in a room and there could be wonderful conversation or total boredom - depending on their personalities.

I think DS and I just sort of got lucky. Part of the reason I was able to let him go to boarding school is that I felt he had already learned as much from me as most kids do by age 18, and he needed 'fresh meat' from other adults and time and space to get to see himself. So far so good.

I worked part time until he was 4, then 3/4 time, now time +, but very 9-5ish. I don't think I could handle physically or emotionally the kind of job my DH has where 60 hours is normal, unless I really had to, or totally believed in what I was doing heart and soul. Even working 43 hours a week, there is very little room for much else. I'm 75% fulfilled by using my gifts, but 110% exhausted. As long as the motivation to keep DS happy and growing is there, it works for me. But my imagination I'd work four 6 -hour days and be done with it! There are always so many interesting other things to do and think about.

((shrugs and more shrugs))
Grinity

Island,

I was never identified as gifted as a child and I never really considered myself that bright. When I was about 25 I decided that I was the type of person that should go to college. It took me 5 years because I took short periods off to work full time for money to continue but I graduated just a month short of my 31st birthday. I started law school when I was 34. I had a baby when I was 35. I started working as a lawyer at 37 when my DS was almost 2.

Now, I have an almost 8 year old PG who has been both a challenge and joy to raise. I enjoy my job and my family and have worked hard for the balance - but it is a work in progress. I am a public lawyer so while I see my role as advocating for my clients, I also have to consider the public good and never fight just to fight. I feel like I have a good balance but that still does not mean that I don't alternate days of feeling like I should be doing more for my family and more for career - one day, I may be considering working part time while at the same time thinking of the next big project at work I want to take on.

I realize now that I was likely a gifted kid who checked out due to lack of challenge and I often wonder what my life would have been like had I gotten my act together sooner, but I really feel like the challenges that I have overcame to get to where I am have made me the relatively happy and fulfilled person I am today.

Anyway, I tell you all of this so that you know that starting late can work out and that it is all a work in progress.