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My DS8 would play video games all day if I let him (mainly Wizard 101, but also Wii and DS). He is doing great at school, completes homework/projects early and usually reads at least 2 hours a day. He also does sports, swims and has lots of friends that he plays with. (Ofcourse, he now would like to spend time playing computer games with his friends!).
I signed him up for Math101 which he does for fun. He used to spend hours on this 1 year ago but since discovering Wizard 101 and other non-educational sites, the educational sites have lost favor - they are certainly not as exciting.
I guess I have a couple of questions:
1. Since he is well rounded overall, does it matter if he spends 2 hours a day playing games (longer during the summer break)? What would you recommend as a maximum?
2. Are there any educational sites that can compete with the excitement of the games?

Another concern I have is that he doesn't seem to get completely hooked on topics like he used to pre-video. Eg When he was 4, he knew more than me about dinosaurs and the animal kingdom (really). He just couldn't get enough - books, documentaries, museums etc. I don't see this so much anymore.

I would love to hear everyone's experiences. Also, for those with older kids, will he grow out of this?

I don't let my children (ages 7 and below) play Internet video games during the school week, and on the weekend I limit them to about 30 minutes of Internet video games each day, AFTER doing EPGY. They don't need to spend a great deal of time at home on academic work, but I want them to spend the bulk of their time playing with toys and each other, reading, or being read to.

My brother is a video game designer. They don't all outgrow it.

LOL La Texican - this is true. I would like to really cut out the video games but then think about where would we be if Bill Gates Mum had not let him play with the computer! Someone has to come up with the next big thing and DS has always wanted to be an inventor. Maybe this is his path??

We use games on electronic devices as a way of enabling our boys to have fun while learning. They are younger than yours, but we use the following that they are free to choose from whenever they want "screen time" (in no order of preference)

- Leapfrog Explorer with various games (all set to at least 2 years above their actual age)
- Mathletics (online maths program including live time rounds for mental maths)
- Timez Attack (this is the current big favourite for both of them)
- then the usual Jump start and reader rabbit series that they can choose from at will
- a variety of websites that they can browse that cover topical information.

The way I see it, as long as they are still content to play, do sports and are well rounded as you indicate, I really do not see a problem with it. When I feel that they have been on too long I chase them off to go play outside or whatever. Or I set up an activity like baking or crafts or science exploration and experiments. Usually they are aware of what is happening around them and quickly come to see what I am doing.

It's also the way of the future, regardless of how we may not want to accept that - the whole technology thing.

But because they are still learning to self-regulate this sort of thing, we limit them to about 45 minutes at a time, and then at least a 2 - 3 hour break. We also have no screen time after 5pm when its dinner and bath and relaxing time.

aly,

My DS10 is a big time video/computer game kid (current fave also Wizard 101). He is also allowed 2 hours of "tech" time a day and a bit more on rainy days etc. and all chores and homework must be done first. On the other hand my DD8 is allowed the same amount of time but hardly ever uses it although she likes Toon Town and Wizard 101.

Since he is so attached to his technology I use it as an incentive etc. I sometimes feel guilty but like your son my son is athletic, has friends, does well in school and reads everyday. I just feel like if he loves it so much it would be kind of cruel to take it away or limit it too much. I mean if he adored basketball would I keep telling him to quit playing? I read an article once that had parents lamenting how much time their sons did "X" and what a waste of time it was and unproductive and made them lazy etc. At the end of the article you find out that it was written a century ago about fishing!

I also have 2 grown (20 & 22) boys both of whom were big gamers and who now next to never play but are successful college students with well-rounded skills/lives so I guess I don't worry as much that he will grow roots in his butt and never grow-up. :-)

I have also sometimes joined them online and gotten to know the games etc. so we can interact about what they love.

Breakaway

I don't really have a maximum in mind, but would limit it based on whatever time you think should be devoted to other things. For instance, if you feel he hasn't read enough or done art enough lately, limit it to enable that, or allow it only after the educational activity like Bostonian does.

Using desired activities or things as an incentive sounds good. I recently told my son I'd give him two Beyblade tops for each half year of Singapore Math completed (we started with 3A to make sure he didn't have any holes in his knowledge, which unfortunately even with slight compacting made it seem like a big chore to him). It worked, and he plowed through a half year in a couple of days.

My main worry with interactive games is (of course) that they will make my son passive. When I let him play online, it's mostly problem solving types of games like Meeblings and Bloons Tower Defense 4. The only role playing game I let him play is Nethack, which doesn't carry the same risks as a MMORPG. He also likes other computer games (Master of Orion 2, Warcraft 3, Crazy Machines etc.) but I tend to let him play them only on certain weekends. During the week we play board and card games exclusively; it's just turned out that way.

Well, this is one of those things that likely doesn't have a right answer. It will reflect values that really must vary from family to family (for example, I rarely watch TV and think it is a huge yawn, DH watches TV, but doesn't understand why I like to game).

My DS9 loves computer games. He likes Wizard101, LOTRO (he only gets to play that when I play with him), Civilization and various military strategy games (Rome total war - graphic violence is not allowed). Like your boys, he does great in school, plays violin, does sports, lots of playdates, etc.

My kids have always been given 30 minutes a day of "screen time" during the week, and an hour on the weekend. When he was younger "all" computer use counted, including playing educational games. We started to get some serious push back on that as he needed the computer more for school (which was reasonable), so what we did was tell him he could use the computer more, but it had to be semi-educational (Scratch, or programming Mindstorms, Gizmos, Brain Pop, etc). So, for pure games, he gets the 30/60 rule, but he can use the computer more at other times (with permission) for other projects. When it comes to time limits for the other stuff we stay flexible, if he is just roaming the lego site looking at things he wants to buy, I'll cut him off, if he is designing something cool on Scratch, I let him keep going (within reason of course).

It sounds like part of your concern is that he isn't investing time in other intellectual interests. Maybe getting him into Scratch or Mindstorms or something like that (if he isn't already) could be a way to combine interests and make you both happy.

I would really limit the amount of video game time. I don't have a problem per se with video games, but they displace other pursuits. You may find he doesn't read 2 hours every single day if he is playing lots of video games, etc.

I could have written this post almost word for word. In fact, I was just contemplating this on my drive into work this morning. During the school year, I do not allow video games during the week. On weekends, I typically limit the time to 1 hour per day, but if it is a rainy weekend or something I will allow more (sometimes all day play).

I am trying to figure out what the right balance is for the summer, but I am thinking that no more than 1 hour on most days sounds about right....or maybe an hour in the morning and another hour in the evening?

Oh, and if it is educational, he can play for as long as he wants.