My DS8 would play video games all day if I let him (mainly Wizard 101, but also Wii and DS). He is doing great at school, completes homework/projects early and usually reads at least 2 hours a day. He also does sports, swims and has lots of friends that he plays with. (Ofcourse, he now would like to spend time playing computer games with his friends!).
I signed him up for Math101 which he does for fun. He used to spend hours on this 1 year ago but since discovering Wizard 101 and other non-educational sites, the educational sites have lost favor - they are certainly not as exciting.
I guess I have a couple of questions:
1. Since he is well rounded overall, does it matter if he spends 2 hours a day playing games (longer during the summer break)? What would you recommend as a maximum?
2. Are there any educational sites that can compete with the excitement of the games?

Another concern I have is that he doesn't seem to get completely hooked on topics like he used to pre-video. Eg When he was 4, he knew more than me about dinosaurs and the animal kingdom (really). He just couldn't get enough - books, documentaries, museums etc. I don't see this so much anymore.

I would love to hear everyone's experiences. Also, for those with older kids, will he grow out of this?

I don't let my children (ages 7 and below) play Internet video games during the school week, and on the weekend I limit them to about 30 minutes of Internet video games each day, AFTER doing EPGY. They don't need to spend a great deal of time at home on academic work, but I want them to spend the bulk of their time playing with toys and each other, reading, or being read to.

My brother is a video game designer. They don't all outgrow it.

LOL La Texican - this is true. I would like to really cut out the video games but then think about where would we be if Bill Gates Mum had not let him play with the computer! Someone has to come up with the next big thing and DS has always wanted to be an inventor. Maybe this is his path??

We use games on electronic devices as a way of enabling our boys to have fun while learning. They are younger than yours, but we use the following that they are free to choose from whenever they want "screen time" (in no order of preference)

- Leapfrog Explorer with various games (all set to at least 2 years above their actual age)
- Mathletics (online maths program including live time rounds for mental maths)
- Timez Attack (this is the current big favourite for both of them)
- then the usual Jump start and reader rabbit series that they can choose from at will
- a variety of websites that they can browse that cover topical information.

The way I see it, as long as they are still content to play, do sports and are well rounded as you indicate, I really do not see a problem with it. When I feel that they have been on too long I chase them off to go play outside or whatever. Or I set up an activity like baking or crafts or science exploration and experiments. Usually they are aware of what is happening around them and quickly come to see what I am doing.

It's also the way of the future, regardless of how we may not want to accept that - the whole technology thing.

But because they are still learning to self-regulate this sort of thing, we limit them to about 45 minutes at a time, and then at least a 2 - 3 hour break. We also have no screen time after 5pm when its dinner and bath and relaxing time.

aly,

My DS10 is a big time video/computer game kid (current fave also Wizard 101). He is also allowed 2 hours of "tech" time a day and a bit more on rainy days etc. and all chores and homework must be done first. On the other hand my DD8 is allowed the same amount of time but hardly ever uses it although she likes Toon Town and Wizard 101.

Since he is so attached to his technology I use it as an incentive etc. I sometimes feel guilty but like your son my son is athletic, has friends, does well in school and reads everyday. I just feel like if he loves it so much it would be kind of cruel to take it away or limit it too much. I mean if he adored basketball would I keep telling him to quit playing? I read an article once that had parents lamenting how much time their sons did "X" and what a waste of time it was and unproductive and made them lazy etc. At the end of the article you find out that it was written a century ago about fishing!

I also have 2 grown (20 & 22) boys both of whom were big gamers and who now next to never play but are successful college students with well-rounded skills/lives so I guess I don't worry as much that he will grow roots in his butt and never grow-up. :-)

I have also sometimes joined them online and gotten to know the games etc. so we can interact about what they love.

Breakaway

I don't really have a maximum in mind, but would limit it based on whatever time you think should be devoted to other things. For instance, if you feel he hasn't read enough or done art enough lately, limit it to enable that, or allow it only after the educational activity like Bostonian does.

Using desired activities or things as an incentive sounds good. I recently told my son I'd give him two Beyblade tops for each half year of Singapore Math completed (we started with 3A to make sure he didn't have any holes in his knowledge, which unfortunately even with slight compacting made it seem like a big chore to him). It worked, and he plowed through a half year in a couple of days.

My main worry with interactive games is (of course) that they will make my son passive. When I let him play online, it's mostly problem solving types of games like Meeblings and Bloons Tower Defense 4. The only role playing game I let him play is Nethack, which doesn't carry the same risks as a MMORPG. He also likes other computer games (Master of Orion 2, Warcraft 3, Crazy Machines etc.) but I tend to let him play them only on certain weekends. During the week we play board and card games exclusively; it's just turned out that way.

Well, this is one of those things that likely doesn't have a right answer. It will reflect values that really must vary from family to family (for example, I rarely watch TV and think it is a huge yawn, DH watches TV, but doesn't understand why I like to game).

My DS9 loves computer games. He likes Wizard101, LOTRO (he only gets to play that when I play with him), Civilization and various military strategy games (Rome total war - graphic violence is not allowed). Like your boys, he does great in school, plays violin, does sports, lots of playdates, etc.

My kids have always been given 30 minutes a day of "screen time" during the week, and an hour on the weekend. When he was younger "all" computer use counted, including playing educational games. We started to get some serious push back on that as he needed the computer more for school (which was reasonable), so what we did was tell him he could use the computer more, but it had to be semi-educational (Scratch, or programming Mindstorms, Gizmos, Brain Pop, etc). So, for pure games, he gets the 30/60 rule, but he can use the computer more at other times (with permission) for other projects. When it comes to time limits for the other stuff we stay flexible, if he is just roaming the lego site looking at things he wants to buy, I'll cut him off, if he is designing something cool on Scratch, I let him keep going (within reason of course).

It sounds like part of your concern is that he isn't investing time in other intellectual interests. Maybe getting him into Scratch or Mindstorms or something like that (if he isn't already) could be a way to combine interests and make you both happy.

I would really limit the amount of video game time. I don't have a problem per se with video games, but they displace other pursuits. You may find he doesn't read 2 hours every single day if he is playing lots of video games, etc.

I could have written this post almost word for word. In fact, I was just contemplating this on my drive into work this morning. During the school year, I do not allow video games during the week. On weekends, I typically limit the time to 1 hour per day, but if it is a rainy weekend or something I will allow more (sometimes all day play).

I am trying to figure out what the right balance is for the summer, but I am thinking that no more than 1 hour on most days sounds about right....or maybe an hour in the morning and another hour in the evening?

Oh, and if it is educational, he can play for as long as he wants.

I don't limit. I might be one of those really weird moms out there :-) My DS8 is an only child who wakes up at 6am due to natural body clock. He's on the computer by 6:15 pretty much every day. He plays online games like Bloons Tower Defense 4, software like Zoombinis and Nancy Drew mysteries, messes around with the Lego Design by Me etc.

Literally ALL of his friends play Club Penguin. Afterschool, it's pretty common to find 5-8 of them in an igloo chatting and playing minigames and working on missions together. Since kids go to his school from all over town, playdates are fairly rare and this is really his social time.

It's not uncommon for him to be on the computer or his DS for 3 hours a day, 2 of which happen before 8am. I don't worry about it. My brother is a coder and game designer, my dad is a systems engineer and my DH is a gamer. I only would be concerned if he wouldn't walk away when asked- so far that has never happened.

I love video games myself, LOL! I played alot as a kid, although they were in an arcade since nobody had computers back then.
I sometimes wonder if video games can promote shorter attention spans and like ADD. I limit our guys to two hours on the weekend, total for the week. No more. If I let them, they would do it all day. They play this Lego Star Wars Game.
If it's rainy, they are forced to find something to do. It generally leads to imaginative play. If they could play video games then, they would, but we don't let them.

I don't limit, either. I'm definitely one of those weird moms. :-) I'm an unashamed games addict myself, so I just keep an eye on whether he's getting "hooked" by something in an unhealthy way. Otherwise, he plays Nintendo or Playstation or on his computer however much he wants, but he wanders in and out of all those pretty steadily, and he also plays outside with his friends and reads books and designs games and stuff. As long as I can pry him out of something pretty easily, I don't worry about it.

I also struggle with video game time. My DS6 was obsessed with Mario Bros and had all the worlds and galaxies mapped out in his head. He could tell anyone on the street how to get a particular star coin in any level of the game. It got to the point where other kids at school would come up to him on the playground asking how to pass a certain level. I fought the game time at first, but then decided to take advantage of the interest in the game. He now writes his own stories about the Mario characters. Yesterday he wrote a poem- staring Mario! His imaginative play is often focused around Mario, but not always. We have ordered a book from Amazon on drawing Nintendo characters. I'm anticipating hours of enjoyment from this. As for actual time spent with the video game, I found that once I relaxed and let him play the game when he wanted (within reason) and took an interest in learning about it myself he wasn't so obsessed. Also, I think once they complete all levels the quest is over and not as interesting.

His 1st grade teacher was the one who gave me the idea of using the Mario to get him to really be creative with his writing. We are having a lot of fun with it.

How much other screen time does he get? I wold limit to 2 hours of screen time a day max, including TV, video games, and computer. There is a fair bit of evidence that more than that can negatively affect weight, grades, sleep, emotional state, social life, you name it.


There is some evidence that they do, but it's also a little shaky. The effect sizes are small, and it's hard to separate it all out. There's also some evidence that violent games can desensitize kids to violence, BUT not all kids...it's complex.

Holla!

We loosely limit based on other things we want him to be doing, like playing legos, riding his bike (which he finally will do now!), and other outdoor activities. DS7 is totally obsessed with Minecraft now (a sandbox type game). He doesn't do the multiplayer version, since when I checked into it, it seems that multiplayer doesn't work so well on Mac. Which is fine with me.

We won't Video games etc in the house. No Wii, no DS, no nuthin' They used to have this TV game that you'd have to plug in, and it made me crazy watching them play that thing...truly anxious that they were wasting their childhood, like I wasted mine watching weird 70's TV.

I think that this is a subject that works differently for each family. For us the following is working pretty well:

DS is 12 and we do oversee and guide but do not limit his screen time with specific time limits. But like the original poster, DS is in general a good student, active in Music and Sports and pretty well rounded. Over the summer he spends at least 10 hours a week at the ice rink skating, at least that long reading for fun and 7 hours a day at an activity based day camp where he is physically active almost all of the time. So he does not have a lot of time for screens. But, he is usually so tired by the time he is home that watching TV or playing video games is a nice way for him to relax and unwind. Plus these activities provide a social framework for him to interact with his age peers. We do not live around many other children in his age range. Most of our neighborhood is retired.

Also I should mention that while DS watches TV, he is usually creating LEGO masterpieces, creating tent cities throughout the room and in general asking all sorts of puzzling questions during each and every commercial break

Eleanor, what is that book on drawing Nintendo characters? We might have to get that!

DS8 is very much into Mario like that right now, too, mapping out worlds and drawing them and tracking times and stuff. It's one of the few things that he can use to relate to friends, so it's good. He was Luigi for Halloween last year -- which was a lot better peer-wise than previous choices of architect, etc.

Hi-

Big lurker here. Hope I can chime in. Our DD8 is a huge video game addict. Like some of your kids, she would play round the clock if we let her (she's currently into DS pokemon, but also has had long obsessions w Mario, Dragonquest, zelda, Spore). Online it's fantage, wizard 101 etc. We have decided not to limit. She doesn't watch tv (her choice), she reads incessantly, plays sports, plays piano and writes her own pieces, gets all As at the gifted school, and has many friends and many interests. I'm not really convinced that EG/PG kids like these are that affected by video games. Mine has claimed since age 3 that she's going to design video games. I believe her. So she goes to ID tech camp in summers and takes video game design/programming. At least it's something productive . If she weren't doing all those other things, I'd be more concerned-

Great topic! -Jennifer

The drawing book is called "How to Draw Nintendo Heroes and Villains". Here is the link from Amazon. You will notice that Amazon only lists it through independent sellers.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Draw-Nint..._1?ie=UTF8&qid=1308590076&sr=8-1

disclaimer: we have not received the book yet so I can't speak to the content. We are waiting for it's arrival. We also got a used book. The price for a new one was ridiculous.