Thank you all for your kind and thoughtful responses.
I went in to help in classroom today and was shocked. DD is in a reading group that is lower than her spelling group (weird to me on a number of levels, but particularly in light of the fact that her spelling capability is about 5 grades below her reading...)
DD cried on and off throughout the whole time I was there. I don't think that's what she normally does, but I think she just couldn't hold back while I was there. She was so frustrated in her reading group, working with kids who are struggling with what seem to my completely skewed eye, very basic ('key' for example). She spent her time in her reading group trying to control their behaviour and was getting increasingly upset that they weren't taking their task seriously.
I am definitely going to speak to the teacher - I think it would be unfair not to, but I am wondering if in part, the problem is bigger than just not getting the right work. I think the huge class size means that the kids don't really have any connection to a teacher and there is constant noise, even when there are tests going on. The teachers didn't really get a chance to come around and see what each group of kids were doing, and so some kids just sat and chatted for an hour. With the exception of the 15 minute period where I was working with her group, dd was pretty much left to her own devices. I could see she was overwhelmed.
I wish I had thought to ask about the structure of the classroom - though it would appear the school deliberately kept it all a bit quiet. I just assumed it would be a teacher and the class. DD likes to feel connected. The team teaching was brought up at a parent information night earlier in the year by one of the parents whose child was unhappy and none of the rest of us had realised that was what they were doing (including those parents who had had children at the school for a couple of years).
Having seen dd in class today was a real eye opener. I've never really appreciated her difference, and in fact have often doubted it. Sure, she's a great reader but she just seemed like a normal kid in so many ways. I assumed with a bit of tweaking school would be fine. Sure her scores are high, but she was tested young. This morning it was like looking at her with fresh eyes. She's not just a great reader, she's a completely different kind of kid. I could see the other kids were completely bewildered by both her insistence that they stay on task and her frustration throughout the morning. Poor little guy.
I am going to check out some other options. We'll talk to the teacher, but if I am honest, I'm not confident that it will be a good fit even if they do up the work. We had a couple of back up schools in mind if this didn't work out so I will approach them. I now feel like I have a much better understanding of what I am looking for. If not, I guess will finally have to confront my homeschooling denial , at least for a period (no issues with others doing it - I just don't feel remotely qualified, and if I am honest I am not keen to take on such a formal role in dd's life).
Last edited by Giftodd; 03/25/11 01:16 AM.
