I am after your collective thoughts on what this situation is. My dd, 5.25 yo, started school here in Australia a couple of months ago. As I have mentioned here previously, she started in a grade 1/2 composite class, which is being 'team taught'. This means that while she has one specific teacher who is responsible for her, for the majority of the time two classes are combined, taught by two teachers. One of them (the one that is not dd's 'official' teacher) is not very nice, which I raised in another thread.
The school has been really willing to try and accommodate dd. There was no issue with having her skip kindergarten, they have her working with the grade twos in some subjects and so on. However they still have her reading basic readers because they want to keep her with her friends (and they keep hinting I should let her have a rest after school and not 'insist' that she reads chapter books - which I don't, they're just what dd chooses to read, which she does - and has done for 12 months - fluently and without effort). The school didn�t tell me about the team teaching before she started, and frankly I would have been instantly concerned that it wouldn�t have suited her � she is a kid who disappears in a group, but is desperately upset when she is then passed over for the more vocal, extroverted kids.
Initially she found a little group of friends, but in the last week or so she has been moving away from them. When she sees them on the way to school, rather than running to join them she prefers to stay with me and gets upset if they join us. She is still playing with them at lunch and recess. She has told me when other kids have been mean to her and I don�t think that anything has happened to cause her to want to no longer play with them other than the novelty wearing off. While the older, grade two kids (and even kids in other, higher grades) seem drawn to her, she isn�t drawn to them � she�s always gone for the safest person in the room to pair up with.
I have to say that I have yet to see any evidence that she has learnt anything much. I appreciate that it is only a couple of months in to the school year, but certainly none of her work shows she is doing is anything she wasn�t already doing at 3. She has an SB5 non-verbal score of >99.9%, FSIQ 99.9% (which the gifted specialist tester felt was an underestimate due to test fatigue). Her teachers are happy with how she is going in class.
At home we have been seeing some frustrating behaviour for the last few months. We�ve seen constant meltdowns and irrational responses that are uncharacteristic, even for her (she can be quite sensitive). I had put them down to starting school, it being such a big change, etc, etc. But last week she had a day off school and she was a different child. Obviously we�ve had weekends and so on, but they�ve been pretty busy these last few months and dd and dh often butt heads because of dd�s current behaviour, so even when they�re quite, they�re still a little full on. This was the first time in ages that it was just the two of us for a full day, with nothing planned. She was a different child. Even dd and dh got along at the end of the day (they have only been having issues since school started � dh, love him, has some unrealistic expectation of how a 5 year old should behave, even an HG one, and her irrational behaviour has been infuriating him). I had, quite frankly, started to wonder if we�d ever see the old her again. Yet there she was, calm and confident in a way that I hadn�t seen for a very long time. It makes me tear up to think of it.
Back to school and we�re back to the same responses again. I still feel unsure whether this is just adjusting to school or something bigger. Can I really make such an assessment based on one good day? My gut tells me that it�s something bigger and the huge class sizes, lack of peers and boring work are eating away at her. That day was a day where she just got to be herself, with no pressure. But maybe I am just being unrealistic? Maybe she just needs to build some resilience through learning the rough and tumble of the playground? But maybe that will crush her?
What are your thoughts? Is this an issue or just an adjustment?
Sorry this is so long. Thanks.
