But, I will try to be more sensitive to dd. I'm just not sure what the heck is going through her mind. It's like it hurts her down to the core, and I just don't understand why. So what if the teacher doesn't agree with you? Maybe someone can enlighten me on that?
Imagine being told that you need to speak up and do so loudly. And then when you try, you're yelled at for what you've said. And then imagine it happening every day. It's a no-win situation. It's learned helplessness.
Your DD is told to participate and to do so loudly enough that people can hear her, and to do it confidently. So your DD participates and gets fussed at because it's not loud enough. And then your DD tries again by doing her work well and confidently and "loudly" (does it in a way that the teacher hasn't yet taught). And she gets fussed at again. Every time she tries she gets shot down. She probably feels like she can never do anything right. She's powerless to make the teacher happy. I'd guess she's feeling helpless and hopeless. And, she doesn't have the perspective -- at 8 -- to see that if she can just persevere through this year with this teacher she will have learned many lessons that will help her in life.
Probably melodramatic, but I've had many situations growing up where I felt like people weren't listening to me or giving me respect because they didn't believe that I knew what I was talking about when I really did (because I was younger or less experienced or whatever). It's really frustrating when you know that you're right about something (like your DD is right about math) and you're not being listened to. In fact, I still have recurring nightmares where I know I'm right about something but no one is listening to me.
So, anyway, I agree with the need for your DD to follow the instructions to the letter, but if she has and she's solved the problem correctly with more advanced math, I'd stand up for her by at least asking the teacher to talk with you and explain why she's saying things are wrong. It's a shame, but I bet the teacher would give you more respect than she gives your DD.
