First, I just want to welcome you to the board. We have some great people on here that have a lot of experience and should be able to give you some help. Just sorry that it was for advocating that isn't working that brought you to us.

I agree with inky in that you need to make 'official' requests that cover you. Put everything in writing. And request all responses back to be in writing. Even if they stop you in the hall to give you the answer, ask that they email/write you the information. Or quickly go home and send them an email with the information that you talked about under the idea of I just wanted to clarify.

If we knew what state you lived in it would help us understand the state laws. You might live in a state of mandatory gifted but have a district that isn't following the rules. Even though your son's results were not at his true abilities they seem like they meet gifted requirements to be in a gifted program. Do you know your schools requirements? I would start with that angle to get him in the pull out. It definitely looks like their program is more of a popularity one. I would question it too if the majority of the kids in the pull out were teachers' children.

Each state should have a gifted association. IE. I live in Texas and ours is the Texas gifted and talented association. You could look it up for your state and give them a call. I talked to mine here and came away feeling that they not only know individual districts but seem to have some good contacts within and around the district to help advocate.

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Then, I get the "guilt" of ...is this really that big of a problem? There are bigger problems in the world. Should this be such a source of frustration.

I understand the guilt and my heart really goes out to you and your son. Reasons why it is a big problem: HG+ kids are high risk kids for drop out, drug use, suicide, and not reaching their full potential. They need to be challenged... they need to learn to learn. Your son isn't getting that opportunity while in this school and you are seeing the effects of this. Some gifted kids will become disruptive while others will fade into the background. Your son looks to be fading into the background. Advocating is one of the hardest things to take on but it is also so important.

And last ... do you have an options other than this district? Are there Charter schools, private schools, gifted schools or even homeschooling options in your area? Look at every option and see if you can find a better fit for your son.

I also feel like I should inform you that my DD is not 'school' age yet. She is 4 and is in preschool. We started her in a social preschool and realized almost immediately that it wasn't a good fit. By the end of the 2nd month I was scrabbling, looking for another school. We enrolled her in a private Spanish Immersion program which is a challenge with just the language but the school is also ahead academically by 2 years. It isn't considered a 'gifted' school but it's challenging. She is now in the 4 year old class and goes full time. Besides Spanish she also has classes in French and Mandarin. Before enrolling her I asked about acceleration and they are very open to it. When she shows mastery of the classroom work they will test her and go from there. Of course this is mastery in Spanish.

So even though my child is not school age I still have had a peek into what issues we would be dealing with. I have learned that she needs to be challenged and we are hoping she stays challenged where she is at and if she isn't challenged I hope that they follow through with their promises OR we will be looking for another school.