I think this is more about self worth and this woman's assessment of her abilities surrounded by gifted students and an ambitious family. At every gifted school there will still be a range of giftedness and the students will know who are the pg+ versus the hg+. So the question then is how someone becomes a striver when they aren't the smartest person in the room. IMO, that is personality, values and also educational experiences rather than IQ. The value I think of a place like Hunter is that the kids are in a classroom of people who also have asynchronous development and where being smart is not a social impediment. So many of the posts here are about getting the appropriate learning setting despite the social levels. At Hunter or schools like it, the testing eliminates or diminishes the tension between those needs. My question to the mother is why she felt she wasn't smart, and whether she simply was not pg in a room full of pg's or she was pg yet still felt diminished for other reasons. Also it is entirely possible that she rejected striving because she was surrounded by it at home and at school. She chose to opt out, without her scores all you have is her perception. A friend tells the story of his 10 year reunion from a gifted high school , everybody thought they hadn't achieved and was worried about telling their classmates their story because they were sure they weren't as impressive as the next guy. They all were impressive, they just assumed the other was more because they were sure their classmates were all smarter. Didnt mean their accomplishments were any less impressive.
DeHe
