When I was a child I had social anxiety to the point that I could not speak in school above a whisper, but I was very talkative at home with my family and close friends. The public schools I went to did nothing for me. Public school made my anxiety worse. My anxiety didn't get better until I got out of public school, started college and had some control over my life. It has always been the feeling that I had no control, that I had to force myself to be like everyone else and do what everyone else did to be successful that caused my anxiety. When I tried to do physical things and had anxiety I would get fumble fingers and a little clumsy but I did not have dyspraxia and dysgraphia like my son has and I could color in the lines so I could fit in when I felt I had to. My son does not fit in and I will not try to force him to. I want him to feel some control, to lessen the anxiety that I am sure he feels because of his disabilities. This is why I homeschool and look for supportive environments where he can feel comfortable being who he is so he can learn and be successful and focus on his gifts and not his disabilities. When he feels he has control, he can dance and play piano even with dyspraxia, even better than some people without disabilities, people like me who had performance anxiety and would not even try.
I told my son that he will fit in when he gets to college. I told him about my experiences. In college it did not matter how I learned, only that I learned. I made good grades. I got a good government job because I could make high scores on their tests. I did well and it felt good.
My son loved being around other kids and I hated taking him away from friends at school when he finished kindergarten, but musical theater allowed him to develop friendships with other people who love music and acting and other things he likes.
The people in the musical theater group are like family to us. This is so much better than what he would have had in school. If he had stayed in school he would have spent too many hours on homework because the dysgraphia causes him to write more slowly and might not have had the time to do musical theater. He definitely would have had anxiety about this. He found that he really liked homeschooling.
I did not get any kind of therapy for my anxiety. I didn't need therapy once I had control. It is only now that I realize how little control I have over things that are happening to my family that I am feeling that anxiety again. I don't think there is a cure for the anxiety I feel when I see my son and my parents in pain.
