Hi Twinkly,
You are an amazingly good mother, persistiently looking to do the right thing for your children. Yippee!
Your girls sound wonderful, if tiring. Thank you for bringing them into the world and for all the love and attention you give them.
DD's lound voice has been a problem in the past. Has she made any progress with the 'inside voice?' Are you finding things to praise about her?
We went the OT route for DS14,around age 7, and he got quite a lot out of it - but I think it's hard to know in advance until you try if it will help. Certianly OT's see sensory, MD's see ADHD, I see giftedness (LOL) but that's life, right?
Practically speaking the question is how to get through each day. Hopefully increase the number of things she will do on her own and soon DD2 will be able to provide some fun for her.
I'm hoping that your DD's school will be worth the time and money your family puts into it. If you can get a cool college student to provide stimulating activities for both dds at about the same cost, I would swap them out of preschool - I don't buy the argument that every preschools helps every child learn social skills. If the preschool would put your dd with the 5 year olds, then that's worth a try. If she is learning 'bad habits' in her current situation, then I wouldn't continue there, even if she likes it. I think the idea situation is one with multiages all together so she can gravitate towards the older ones when she wants to and be silly when she wants to.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
