I will say that book for parenting NVLD kids and ADD kids have been very useful to me. What I like about NVLD, is that they don't claim to have any medication or fix for the underlying cause. They just say to journal what seems to be a problem for the child in daily life, pick the 'leading edge' issue that would cause the most growth if it were handled and work on that. This is also what I hate about NVLD.
I do believe that there are some children who actually have NVLD, but personally, our experience was that our local psychologist, who is a caring and intelligent fellow, looked at DS's behavior at age 7, and the IQ tests, saw the spread in the subsections, told us that it was like 'having one leg longer than the other and could cause anxiety' and told me he had NVLD, so read up on it. That was it. Psychologist also said: It isn't ADHD.
We went back to the school and they said: 'No, we just attended a class in NVLD, it isn't what he has. He has ADHD."
((If your eyebrows are raised, they should be - I finally ended up crying in the Principal's office and some 'corrections' were administered. It was awful, but the moral is: If you feel like crying in the Principal's office, it's worth a try to do so. Apparently it isn't normal for 2nd grade to be so hard on families that Mom's are in tears. It seems normal to me.))
LOL - at age of 14 there have been several further evaluations and the NVLD is not currently part of his alphabet soup. ADD is.
I'm not saying that is the case for you, although if your son has to interact with the outside world, I believe that things will go better if you tell them you are investigating if he has ADD. sort of like those long engagements where the girl has the ring but no date for the marriage is set. It just explains in what a profile like your son has would pretty much have to look like to a layperson. Right now ADD and ADHD is a description of behavior, not a biological error like diabetes. There is no blood test or brain scan to see if a kid really has ADHD, only 'behavior surveys' that say - Yes or No: This child is built is such a way that drives adults crazy in the following ways. I'll bet any a dollar that in 20 years we have 16 different disorders that are now all lumped together in this category.
NVLD is sort of a leaky bucket of a diagnosis, and (perhaps others have has other experiences) although it was very helpful to me in offering specific parenting strategies for 'difficult' kids, in never got me much help from the school systems. It wasn't on their list of real disorders at that time. I'm sure it's different in different places.
I did however get the spark of learning to come back. It started with afterschooling - we worked together 30 minutes 5 days a week afterschool on ALEKS.com because I was so upset that he 'hated math' in 4th grade. I found a few summer day camps for gifted kids so he could spend the summer 'fitting in' with kids who were 'like him on the inside.' Eventually he started attending CTY overnight camps. Because we were able to join Davidson YSP, we did weekends where he could socialize and fit in with other kids who are 'like him' in that particular way. My son is still very interested in 'fitting in' and I believe that in the long run that will be a very valuable skill, but I have kept trying different schools and grade skip or no grade skip combinations to try to keep him 'fitting in' to a group of students with good work ethic.
Just the fact that you child is aware of the world enough to create the hypothesis that the tester tells everyone that they are gifted to make money shows a really precocious world view. Yes he sounds sophomoric compared to an adult, but that's still pretty amazing.
I hope I'm not making your head spin. Please ask whatever questions come to mind.
Love and More Love,
Robin from Connecticut
